(Verse 1)
Waking up is a war, the battlefield's my head
He's breathing next to me, words unsaid
But I can feel 'em coming, crawling on my skin
Another day of losing where the hell I begin
He says I'm crazy, says I'm losing my damn mind
A walking, talking time bomb he's forced to find
A way to defuse, or maybe just to watch me burn
A lesson in control, a twisted turn.
(Chorus)
He pulls the trigger, I'm the gun that's aimed at me
His venom is the bullet, sets my misery free
He lights the fuse and I'm the one who detonates
Dancing in the wreckage of my fractured mental states
He loads the chamber with the doubt I can't erase
And I'm the smiling target, ready for the final space.
(Verse 2)
The mania's a high wire, I'm walking on the air
For a little while, I almost don't care
I'm brilliant, I'm invincible, I'm flying through the day
Until he looks at me and pulls me from my cloud of gray
He says, "You're getting manic, better get ahold of it now,"
He takes the vibrant colors and he bleeds them out somehow
And just like that, the fall begins, a sickening, sweet descent
Back into the basement where my time is all but spent.
(Chorus)
He pulls the trigger, I'm the gun that's aimed at me
His venom is the bullet, sets my misery free
He lights the fuse and I'm the one who detonates
Dancing in the wreckage of my fractured mental states
He loads the chamber with the doubt I can't erase
And I'm the smiling target, ready for the final space.
(Bridge)
The chemicals are screaming, a riot in my brain
He's the one who whispers, amplifies the pain
He doesn't start the fire, no, he's smarter than you think
He just provides the gasoline and watches the room sink
Into the heavy darkness where my only friend's the end
He taught me how to hate myself, he's my dearest, darkest friend.
(Outro)
Getting ready now, time to make the peace
The final, quiet solace, a sweet and sharp release
He loaded up the barrel, pointed me this way
So I'll pull the trigger, make the shadows go away
It's a party for the pain, a celebration for the hurt
Putting this damn body back into the dirt.
Yeah, he pulled the trigger... but I'm the one who bleeds.
