Better Than Yesterday

[Verse 1]
Kids in the hallway
I’m raising my voice
They flinch when I snap
Then I hate my own choice
Your drawings on the fridge
My guilt on the floor
You just wanted one hug
I gave you the door
I see my dad’s face
Every time that I shout
Swore I’d never be him
Guess the anger leaked out
You look up confused
Like, “What did I do?”
It wasn’t you, ever
It’s the war in me, not you
[Chorus]
I’m sorry I’m not the man I planned
Sorry I’m not the dad I am in my head
I don’t wanna see you scared of my hands
Or the words that I said
I just wanna be better than yesterday
I just wanna be safe when you run my way
I don’t wanna hate myself when the night gets quiet
I just wanna love you right, not hide it (yeah)
[Verse 2]
Some days I feel useless
Unwanted in my home
Scroll on my phone
While you play alone
You tap on my leg
“Daddy, come and see”
Why you gotta beg
For a second of me
I’m mad at the mirror
More than I’m mad at you
Every curse that I throw
Bounces back times two
I need help, I need healing
I need grace for my scars
But you’re still my reason
You’re my moon and stars
[Chorus]
I’m sorry I’m not the man I planned
Sorry I’m not the dad I am in my head
I don’t wanna see you scared of my hands
Or the words that I said
I just wanna be better than yesterday
I just wanna be safe when you run my way
I don’t wanna hate myself when the night gets quiet
I just wanna love you right, not hide it (yeah)
[Bridge]
One breath
Count to ten
Break the chain
Let it end
One hug
Hold on tight
Tell you, “I was wrong
You were always right”
One day
You’ll remember me
I pray
It’s the soft in me
Not the storm, not the shout
But the way I chose
To turn around
[Chorus]
I’m sorry I’m not the man I planned
Sorry I’m not the dad I am in my head
I don’t wanna see you scared of my hands
Or the words that I said
I just wanna be better than yesterday
I just wanna be safe when you run my way
I don’t wanna hate myself when the night gets quiet
I just wanna love you right, not hide it (love you right)

rap, Intimate boom-bap/emo-rap beat, warm bass and soft keys under crisp drums. Male vocals, close and confessional in the verses, then hook opens up with layered harmonies and subtle pitched-down doubles. Second half adds distant choir pads and a slightly wider mix as resolve grows, ending on a stripped-back last line over just piano and bass., sad, hip hop, happy