[Verse 1]
I been tired, I been tense
Raising my voice, losing sense
See their eyes, see them flinch
Then I hate myself an inch by inch
I ain't proud of how I talk
Little hearts watching how I walk
Car seats in the back, they stare
At a broken man who ain't been there
Anger in my chest, then regret in my throat
Say I'm fine, but I'm stuck on a note
Who taught me this? I don't even know
But I don't want that script for them to grow
[Chorus]
I'm sorry I ain't been the man I should be
I'm sorry I ain't been the dad that you need
I don't want your memories painted in my rage
I just want smiles on your face, not my pain on your page
I been feeling so small, so lost, so wrong
But I'm writing it down, tryna turn it to a song
Better than yesterday, that's the promise I make
I'ma love you so loud that it covers my mistakes (yeah)
[Verse 2]
Every time I snap, I feel less than
Like, why you bringing storms to your best friends?
You ain't unwanted, that's just how I feel
Old wounds talking like they real, but they not real
I was never shown how to hold my hurt
So I threw it like dirt, and it stained your shirt
But that cycle ends here, it don't go through you
I'll learn new words, yeah, I'll learn new truth
Therapy on my tongue, prayer in my chest
Text your mom, "today I'm doing my best"
Take a breath in the hallway before I explode
'Cause your little laughs light up my whole world
[Chorus]
I'm sorry I ain't been the man I should be
I'm sorry I ain't been the dad that you need
I don't want your memories painted in my rage
I just want smiles on your face, not my pain on your page
I been feeling so small, so lost, so wrong
But I'm writing it down, tryna turn it to a song
Better than yesterday, that's the promise I make
I'ma love you so loud that it covers my mistakes (oh yeah)
[Bridge]
You deserve calm
You deserve hugs
You deserve patience
Overflowing love
So when I slip, I'll own my part
Look you in the eye, not tear you apart
I can't fix the past, but I can change today
Hold your tiny hands, learn a softer way
[Chorus]
I'm sorry I ain't been the man I should be
I'm sorry I ain't been the dad that you need
I don't want your memories painted in my rage
I just want smiles on your face, not my pain on your page
I been feeling so small, so lost, so wrong
But I'm here in the dark tryna turn it around
Better than yesterday, every tear, every scar
I'ma love you so real, you'll forget who I was so far