[Spoken Intro over slow bluesy guitar riff] “Alright y’all… lemme set the scene. It’s me, my best buddy, and his girlfriend ridin’ through town in her Chevy Beretta. Now, I’m thinkin’ we’re just cruisin’, right? But she’s out here slammin’ the brakes like we’re dodgin’ deer — then lettin’ off… then easin’ ‘em back on… Does it once… twice… five or six times. Finally, I’m like, ‘Girl, what in the hell are you doin’?’ And she looks me dead in the eyes and says… ‘Well… I hit the brakes real hard so the brake lights are really bright… so folks know I’m stoppin’… Then I slow down slow.’ I said… ‘Darlin’…’” ⸻ [Band kicks in HARD — Verse 1] Rollin’ down one thirty-eight in a Chevy Beretta, my buddy,his girl and me with no where to heada, She’s drivin’ like she’s in a damn rodeo, Hits the brakes hard, then lets ‘em go. Once, twice, man she’s doin’ it again, Five, six times, I’m countin’ to ten, Finally I ask, “Girl, what’s the deal?” She says, “Makes the brake lights bright so they know it’s real.” ⸻ [Chorus (big, rowdy, shout-along)] I said, “Baby, it don’t work like that, You ain’t ridin’ a bull, this ain’t NASCAR track, You can tap ‘em once or you can stomp ‘em flat, But makin’ ‘em blink don’t warn shit, Jack. Yeah, the pedal’s for stoppin’, the wheel’s for steer, And you just about made me spill my beer, So slow it down, before we both go splat, ‘Cause girl… it don’t work like that!” ⸻ Verse 2 She looks at me with them big brown eyes, Like I just told her the world was lies, She Said, “I’ve been drivin’ since I was sixteen,” I said, “Yeah… and I’ve been eatin’ since I was born, you see what I mean?” Brake lights ain’t a disco show, They’re just tellin’ folks when you’re goin’ slow, She smirks and says, “Are you sure ‘bout that?” I said, “Look around, darlin’ — you see any other cars doin’ that?” ⸻ [Bridge (half-time groove)] Maybe it’s just a lesson learned, You can’t fake a stop when the wheels still turn, Next time I’ll ride with someone sane, ‘Cause my neck’s got whiplash and a brand new sprain. ⸻ [Final Chorus (double-time, full band blowout)] I said, “Babe, it don’t work like that, This ain’t a movie, it’s a two-lane black, You can hit it once or you can stomp it flat, But playin’ with the brakes don’t change the fact. Yeah, the pedal’s for stoppin’, the wheel’s for steer, And you just about made me spill my beer, So slow it down, before we both go splat, ‘Cause girl… it don’t work like that!” ⸻ Outro (spoken with a laugh) “…brake lights ain’t a warning flare, darlin’… they’re just lights.”

It Don’t Work Like That- remix