Crackhead

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Lookin' for that rock, yeah, he wanted it all.

Pipe in his hand, lighter flick-flick-flick,

Eyes twitchin' hard like a junkie tick.

He said, "Padre, bless this hit, make it heavenly,"

Then sucked it down deep—oh Lord, have mercy!

Up he went, bouncin' high like a fool on springs,

Yellin' "Hallelujah, this crack got wings!"

Humpty Dumpty the crack head, oh what a sight!

Chasin' that dragon from mornin' till night!

All the king's horses and all the king's men,

Said, "Boy, you done lost it—again and again!"

Crack-head Humpty, fallin' apart,

Pipe dreams crashin', breakin' his heart!

Couldn't put Humpty together no mo',

'Cause the rock took his soul and his eggshell show!

He climbed back up, lookin' wild and mean,

Nose runnin' rivers, eyes red like a fiend.

"Padre, one more bump, just a quick little toot,"

Then he slipped on his own drool—splat, down he scoot!

All the king's men came runnin' with glue,

But Humpty just laughed: "Nah, this high's too true!"

They tried to patch him, tape up the cracks,

But he kept twitchin', beggin' for more stacks!

Oh children, hear me now from the pulpit so high,

That rock'll lift you up... then make you cry!

Humpty thought he was king of the wall so tall,

But gravity + crack = one hell of a fall!

Amen? Amen! Somebody say "preach!"

Now pass the collection plate—nah, pass the bleach!

Humpty Dumpty the crack head, what a damn shame!

Egg on the sidewalk, still callin' out names!

All the king's horses neighed, "We can't fix this mess!"

King's men just shrugged: "Let him chase the next press!"

Crack-head Humpty, scrambled for good,

Lesson from Padre: Don't smoke what you shouldn't!

Couldn't put Humpty together again,

'Cause the pipe won the battle—crack always wins!

Hee-hee... crack-a-lackin', y'all...

Padre's out—stay off that wall, amen!

crack sound effect ... oop