Verse 1
She went back home to North Carolina
The name I called her, well,
It's another word for vagina
She came down to Alabama looking for a fight
Stayed in the doll house with smoke rolling over her pipe
Her eyes were red and she needed to go to bed
She'd been out there all damn night
Stayed up for three days till she lost her mind
Then she took off to Georgia, but she left a few things behind
A beat-up pipe and a little amplifier
Funny what gets left behind when you're running from the fire
Verse 2
Later that day she came drifting back around
Acting like a preacher from a one-stoplight town
Giving life advice nobody asked to hear
Like she had it all figured out from way up there
She'd tell me where I'd stumbled, tell me where I'd gone wrong
Her mouth was moving so damn fast her brain couldn't tag along
Talking about things she knew nothing about
Every sentence started loud and somehow finished with a shout
Chorus
She had answers for my problems, answers for my plans
Answers for the whole damn world she couldn't understand
Pointing every direction except where she should start
Giving out life lessons while her own life fell apart
Verse 3
The pipe's not here, the amplifier too
About as useful as the wisdom she kept trying to push through
She could cross state lines and pointed at who's to blame
But everywhere she landed it was always more of the same
Bridge
I don't hate her now, I mostly shake my head
Some folks build a future, some outrun the things they said
She spent so much time judging everybody in sight
She never noticed her own house burning through the night
Final Chorus
She had answers for my problems, answers for my plans
Answers for the whole damn world she couldn't understand
The joke was never on me, that's the funny part
She kept giving life lessons while her own life fell apart
Yeah, she kept giving life lessons while her own life fell apart.