Well ol' Dan loads up his scuba gear,
Says, "Boys, there ain't nothin' to fear."
But he shoots to the top before anyone can blink,
His SMB's still halfway to the brink.
The fish all laugh and the turtles all sing,
They call him by his nickname... "The Panic-King."
Chorus
🎵 He's Space Gay Trucker Dan,
Rollin' all across this land.
Trucker by day, captain by the sea,
Though what he really is... nobody can agree.
He's Space Gay Trucker Dan,
Doing everything he can.
If there's a shortcut to confusion,
You know he'll have a plan. 🎵
Verse 2
He'll anchor up and tell the divers, "Have fun!"
Then grabs his phone before they're even done.
He's taking Facebook selfies with the sunset in sight,
While the divers are bobbing 'til the middle of the night.
They wave their arms, they're driftin' away,
But Dan found the perfect filter that day.
Chorus
🎵 He's Space Gay Trucker Dan,
Rollin' all across this land.
Trucker by day, captain by the sea,
Though what he really is... nobody can agree.
He's Space Gay Trucker Dan,
Doing everything he can.
If there's a shortcut to confusion,
You know he'll have a plan. 🎵
Verse 3
He's got Christmas lights strung up all year,
Folks just smile when they see him near.
Rainbow stickers shine on his pickup bright,
You can spot ol' Dan both day and night.
His truck says "Fishing Captain" bold and proud,
Then "Catering" for the very next crowd.
He's hauling freight from state to state,
Advertising three jobs on one tailgate.
Bridge
He knows every rest stop down the interstate,
Seems to spend an awful lot of time there late.
Folks hear a foot tapping under the stall,
And quietly decide... they don't need to stay at all.
Final Verse
When it comes to ladies, he don't waste much time,
He's got confidence that's almost a crime.
If she's got a pulse, he'll probably try,
Shoot his shot before she says goodbye.
He's one of a kind, that's easy to see,
The world's most colorful mystery.
Final Chorus
🎵 He's Space Gay Trucker Dan,
Rollin' all across this land.
The Panic-King beneath the waves,
And a legend where he stands.
Captain, trucker, lights that shine,
Facebook selfies all the time.
Raise a cold one, sing along,
'Cause Dan keeps rolling on! 🎵
