Lagging Heart

Dragging my heart on a chain,

cussing your name through the pain.

My mind already left,

but my heart wants to stay.

My mind got a map,

knows exactly where to go.

It sees the road ahead,

but you’re moving way too slow.

I’m walking toward the light,

trying not to look behind.

But you’re chained to my chest,

still fighting with my mind.

You got your teeth in the dirt,

still hooked on his name.

I’m pulling on the chain,

cussing through the pain.

Like damn it, heart,

why you gotta be so hard?

I’m trying to save us both,

but you won’t leave the yard.

I’m crying ’cause I know I gotta go,

you’re crying ’cause you wanna stay.

My mind keeps pulling toward the road,

but you keep begging me to wait.

Damn it, heart, catch up with my mind,

I see the truth, but you keep looking behind.

My mind already knows,

my heart’s still taking the blows.

My head’s trying to leave,

but this heart won’t let go.

Dragging my heart on a chain,

cussing your name through the pain.

My mind already left,

but my heart wants to stay.

I’m bleeding out here

with this lagging heart.

Blood on my hands from dragging the chain,

tears in my heart from pulling away.

We’re both cut up from this tug-of-war,

I can’t stay, but you still want more.

Sweat on my skin, dirt on my knees,

both of us gasping, too tired to breathe.

You’re bruised from the pulling,

I’m sore from the fight.

You keep reaching for him,

I keep reaching for light.

You remember the good parts,

the way he held us close.

But I remember silence

when I needed him most.

You think you’re the only one in pain?

I’m hurting too, but I see the flames.

You keep reaching for what felt like home.

I gotta get us out of here—

before we burn alone.

(gravelly scream-sung, guitar swell, then drop)

You want the promise,

I remember the proof.

You want the feeling,

I remember the truth.

You want the laughter,

I remember the wait.

You keep calling it love,

I keep calling it weight.

My heart says it’s worth the pain,

but I’m breaking under the weight.

I wish I could break this chain,

stop dragging all this pain.

But this heart is still a part of me,

even when it drives me—

FUCKING IN-SAAAAANE.

(drawn-out scream-sung, heavy guitar hit, then drop)

Get up.

Come on.

Move.

Damn it, heart,

I’m not leaving without you.

But we can’t keep dying

just because you don’t wanna lose.

I know you still love him,

I know you still ache.

But we can’t call it love

if it keeps hurting this way.

Dragging my heart on a chain,

cussing your name through the pain.

My mind already left,

but my heart wants to stay.