Warzones

Why does the world collide and look down on me i am looking for the positives but I am always met by the negatives and everyone is out to get me people are planning my death I just know that everyone wants me dead just as much as I do I feel the world is judging me and everyone hates me I wouldn't blame them as am just a wasted sperm.

My life is spiraling into a stem of torment and I hate my mind's paranoid every day but everyone laughs behind my back and not wanting to face the facts I just know when I am walking down the street, i see judgment daily even my family fucking judge me what have I don't wrong am just trying to stay strong and help those around me nothing but kindness escape me I project this to the world and I get Shat all over my paranoia is making me feel guilty for things that ain't wrong.

I just want to stay strong and move freely without being defeated or deleted I walk on the knife edge every day and it's much stress to handle being paranoid every day I just wish I could stay away from the world so I can feel free but unfortunately I can't as I am living in this altered reality. Not a sense of pride or quality so I bind myself tight to the knife as it's the only escape for this paranoid state and then I see my fate great.

I want to world to be happy but no one is ever happy around me not even my own FUCKING FAMILY !! OR EVEN MY FUCKING WIFE she would rather I took the knife across my life so she could have a party and dance all over my grave with pride as she would be in a stride and project to the world I escaped domestic violence just to get attention I have a nasty creation concluded in my brain I can't face the facts or I just react.

I hate being questioned and I hate being criticised for just trying to stay alive my paranoid mind kicks in and I overthink everything that's spinning around in my head like the mixologists beautiful potion and it's not like your lotion it's more like your own shitty pitty being casted up in your face again am disgraced as it is and I hate my life but the world just makes it worse which turns me inside out and I start to snap and react to the situation presented by the world invention.

The paranoid swing happens every day I can't even wake up and feel relaxed as my mind starts to go into a spasm and my paranoia projects to the frontal lobe and am just supposed to stay strong and not want my bong the only time I can relax is when I am inhaling toxins into my body then I can switch off from the shitty world am living in I just wish I wasn't born and my mum just swallowed me as I am the most fucked creature u will ever see.

I am a liar

I am a manipulator

I am a narcissist

I am a cunt

I am a twisted fucker

I am paranoid each day

I am never happy

I am never sad

I have no emotion

I am just numb inside and that shows on the outside but that's the paranoid mind preparing me for battle in this FUCKING WARZONE ahh