I was worn down to the gristle, just a ghost inside my skin. Days bled into each other, nights refused to end. Heart heavy as a headstone, breath thin as a dying flame, walking with memories chewing holes in my brain. Then a stranger stepped from shadows like he’d studied me for years, voice smooth as whiskey, eyes calm like he knew my kin. Said you look tired, said I’d been carrying too much pain, and the way he said it made me feel I’d been seen, not judged, nor shamed. He didn’t look like danger, didn’t smell like smoke or sin, just a quiet man with answers for the storm I carried inside. I was too numb to question how he knew my ache, so I let him sit beside me, and learned that mistake…
Just once, a little taste, let the world fall out of sight, and the noise inside me faded like someone dimmed the lights…
I shook hands with the devil, thought he came to ease my mind, thought I found a little heaven.. in a needle and a line. But he’d already priced my future, weighed my soul against the lie. And I didn’t see the chains.. but he saw them, and he smiled deep inside.
He didn’t come with horns fire or rage. He came soft as a lullaby on a night I felt half caged. Said I’d been fighting too long, let him quiet down my head, and he laid that dope before me like a prayer the broken said. The first hit rolled in gentle, like a warm hand on my spine, like the world stopped screaming finally. But mercy ain’t mercy when it’s bought with your soul, and peace ain’t peace when the devil seeks control. He didn’t rush or push or pry. He just watched me sink deeper in the comfort of his lie…
He said I deserved the quiet, said I deserved the rest, but every breath I took was one he repossessed.
I shook hands with the devil, thought he came to be my friend. Didn’t see the chains he carried, didn’t see the bitter end. Thought I found a little heaven in a needle and a line. I didn’t know the price yet, but he did, as he smiled deep inside…
He saw years slipping through the cracks. Saw my kids grow without me, saw moments I’d never get back. Saw birthdays with empty chairs, bikes without my hand to guide, shoelaces tied by someone else, the pride I’d be denied. He saw prison bars waiting, cold steel with my name etched within. Saw the fights, the chaos, the man I’d fail to defend. Saw friends lowered into dirt, others robbed and left behind. I was blind to what was coming, but he wasn’t blind. He saw the nights I’d lose my mind, running scared from shadows deep. Saw me carving up my arm, a sin, I would later reap. Saw me wearing a car seat helmet, thinking snipers lined the sky. And he saw every broken moment long before the very last time..
I shook hands with the devil, thought he came to ease my pain. Didn’t see the years he’d steal from me, didn’t feel the hidden chain. Thought I’d found a little quiet in that needle and that line. I didn’t know the cost yet, but he already did, that why he smiled deep inside…