Florida Man Polka

(Intro – Accordion & Tuba)

Oompah, oompah, grab your beer can,

Here comes trouble — Florida Man!

(Verse 1)

He rode a lawnmower straight through a church,

Shouted “I’m the Pope, now where’s my perch?”

Bought a live alligator with a gift card plan,

That’s our hero, Florida Man!

(Chorus)

Polka, polka, clap your hands!

Arrested with flamingo pants!

Spinnin’ around with a gator in hand,

Everybody cheer for Florida Man!

(Verse 2)

He stole a dolphin from a mini-golf course,

Tried to teach it how to drive, of course.

Fed Doritos to a traffic cam,

Then moonwalked naked — Florida Man!

(Chorus)

Polka, polka, stomp your shoes!

He got drunk on pickle juice!

Oompah band and a frying pan,

That’s the legend, Florida Man!

(Bridge – Call & Response)

“What’s he doin’?”

“Fightin’ raccoons!”

“Where’s he at?”

“On the roof at noon!”

“Why’s he naked?”

“It’s part of the plan!”

“Give it up for Florida Man!”

(Final Chorus)

Polka, polka, spin around!

He got arrested at the fairground!

Playin’ accordion with his own damn band,

Oompah forever — Florida Man!

(Outro – Accordion riff fading out)

Doo-dah, doo-dah, Florida Maaaaan!