Do I Look Like Your Mother?

Wait, wait, wait…

You need me to fix this too?

I have one question.

A very important question.

You lost your keys, you lost your mind,

You lost the plot for the hundredth time,

You call me up like “what do I do?”

Like I got a manual written for you,

Your problems have a VIP pass,

They show up first and they never leave last,

I tried to help, I tried to care,

Now I’m pulling out my own hair,

I’m not your calendar, not your alarm,

Not here to keep you away from harm,

You’re grown enough to know the truth,

So here’s a little reminder for you…

Do I look like your mother?

Cleaning up after another disaster,

Running around trying to save your summer,

Baby, do I look like your mother?

Do I look like your mother?

You need to learn one way or another,

I got my own life to discover,

Seriously…

Do I look like your mother?

No, no, no, not today,

Pack your drama, walk away,

Ask yourself before you bother…

Do I look like your mother?

You need advice that you never take,

You need directions then choose mistakes,

Ask my opinion, ignore my reply,

Then act surprised when it doesn’t fly,

I’m not your chef, not your chauffeur,

Not your emotional makeover,

Love you lots but here’s the deal,

Responsibility is actually real,

I’m not your Wi-Fi, not your plan,

Not your “please fix everything” man,

I believe that you’ll survive,

You’ve only been alive your whole life,

Do I look like your mother?

Cleaning up after another disaster,

Running around trying to save your summer,

Baby, do I look like your mother?

Do I look like your mother?

You need to learn one way or another,

I got my own life to discover,

Seriously…

Do I look like your mother?

I’ll cheer for you, I hope you win,

But I’m done jumping in,

You got two hands, you got a brain,

Maybe introduce them someday,

I say this with a little love,

A little sass and a little shove,

Before you ask what you should do…

Try asking yourself too.

Do I look like your mother?

I’m retired from fixing another,

You’re the star of your own little show,

Congratulations, you’re running it solo,

Do I look like your mother?

I promise you’ll somehow recover,

I believe in you, now please remember…

Don’t call me unless it’s December.

Actually… don’t call me in December either.

I’m busy.