AUNTIE’S YAPESE BROTHER

“AUNTIE’S YAPESE BROTHER — MAXIMUM SAVAGE EDITION”

Verse 1

Auntie sees him walking up the driveway like he owns the whole subdivision.

She squints and says,

“Eh, who told this boy he can walk in like he’s the governor of my house?”

But the moment he smiles, auntie’s attitude collapses like a cheap canopy in a typhoon.

“Cheee… okay fine, come inside before the mosquitoes follow you.”

Chorus

Auntie say, “That’s my Yapese brother —

Louder than the karaoke speaker,

Hungrier than the whole family reunion,

And somehow always first in line even when he came last.”

Auntie yelling, “BOY, SIT DOWN —

But also get me my plate while you’re up.”

Verse 2

At the BBQ he flipping ribs like he’s auditioning for a cooking show nobody asked for.

Auntie watching like,

“Eh, you think you Gordon Ramsay?

You burned the last batch, but okay, go ahead, chef.”

Then he starts singing karaoke,

Auntie clutching her chest like she caught the Holy Spirit,

“AY SUS — wrong key, wrong song, wrong century…

But still, sing, sing, sing.”

Bridge

He laughs so loud the neighbors think there’s a fiesta.

Auntie pretending she annoyed,

But she already made him a to‑go plate the size of a suitcase.

She whispers,

“That boy… good heart.

But don’t tell him — his head already big like he’s famous.”

Final Chorus

Auntie say, “That’s my Yapese brother —

Family by choice, headache by nature.”

He brings the drinks, the noise, the jokes, the chaos,

Auntie shouting,

“EH, YOU BETTER COME BACK NEXT WEEK —

I’m not done yelling at you.”