ALEX TREBEK!
VERSUS!
PAT SAJAK!
BEGIN!
(Alex Trebek - Verse 1)
"For $200, the answer is: This host thinks word games are truly a thrill,
But compared to my clues, his show's standing still."
What is... Pat Sajak, with his wheel and his grin?
While I sculpt champions, where do your wits even begin?
Jeopardy! demands knowledge, a mind sharp and keen,
Yours just needs good luck and a photogenic queen!
My legacy's knowledge, a cultural pillar,
Your biggest daily double? A vowel-buying filler!
(Pat Sajak - Verse 1)
Well, for forty-one seasons, I’ve owned the night’s slot,
Giving regular folks a legitimate shot!
At cars and big money, a tropical cruise,
While your contestants just sweat, fearing they'll lose
Their minds over questions obscure and so dry,
As Vanna just smiles and the letters fly by!
"I'd like to buy a vowel, Alex!" – that’s pure delight!
Your show’s a tough lecture, mine’s a fun family night!
(Alex Trebek - Verse 2)
A lecture in facts, precision, and grace!
We test true acumen, not just random letter space!
My board is a challenge, where intellect gleams,
Not just hoping the puzzle fulfills all your dreams.
Sure, a ruling on "larynx" might cause a small stir, (Winks)
Or if Ken Jennings' long reign made your interest blur,
But the standard I've set is unblemished and clear,
For answers in questions, year after year!
(Pat Sajak - Verse 2)
Unblemished? Oh please, Alex, don't make me laugh!
Your pace is so slow, I could knit a giraffe!
My fans solve the puzzles before the reveal,
Excitement is something your format can't feel!
Okay, sometimes I'm grumpy, might tell 'em "shut up!" for a tease,
(Shrugs) After eight thousand episodes, can a man not have ease?
But I retired a legend, the last of my kind!
While your show's still debating the thoughts in one's mind!
(Steve Harvey - Verse 1)
(Music scratches, a booming laugh. STEVE HARVEY struts out, microphone in hand)
HOLD UP! HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! Y'all need to stop this fight!
Two old-timers squabbling? That just ain't right!
Survey SAYS! Your eras are gathering dust on the shelf!
Alex, your clues? My audience would bore itself!
Pat, spinning that wheel? Looks like a big pizza pie!
While I'm making memes when contestants just LIE
'Bout what the top answer could possibly be!
You two are history! The new king is ME!
(Steve Harvey - Verse 2)
My reactions are golden! My suits are top-tier!
When a fool gives an answer, the whole world can hear
Me dying inside, with a look that’s pure shock!
Family Feud's on fire, around the whole clock!
Viral clips daily, my ratings are huge!
Your game shows are relics, like some ancient deluge!
So step off the podium, hand Vanna her check,
Steve Harvey's the name that gets all the respect!
Game over, fellas! Point ME! GOOD ANSWER! (Strikes a pose)
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
kriegerdemon666
