Trying to Find my Sea Legs

(Verse 1)
I’d just stepped off the Scurvy Dog with three months’ back-pay due
To find a flash-girl by the quay who’d have a word or two.
We slipped into the grog-shop back to splice the mainbrace there
But when I stripped to buff and bone, the cupboards they were bare!
My bowsprit wouldn't take a set, my tackle went to slush
I stood there like a scupper-rat in a deep and scarlet blush.
(Chorus)
Oh, the yardarm’s drooping leeward and the sheets are flying slack
There’s a knot within the rigging and a kink within the back!
I’m a hulk upon the sandbar with a fouled and rusted chain
A-trying to find my sea-legs, but I’m whistling for rain.
(Verse 2)
She hollered, "Where’s your gumption, lad? Your jib is hanging low!
You’re like a becalmed merchantman with nowhere left to go!"
I told her I’d been "rounding Horn" and lost my spark to brine
But she said my wooden leg had more of spirit than my spine.
She called the Madame in to see the "Marvel of the Fleet"
A sailor who’s all barnacle and nothing but defeat.
(Chorus)
Oh, the yardarm’s drooping leeward and the sheets are flying slack
There’s a knot within the rigging and a kink within the back!
I’m a hulk upon the sandbar with a fouled and rusted chain
A-trying to find my sea-legs, but I’m whistling for rain.
(Verse 3)
The boatswain heard the tally-ho and spread it through the crew
Now every time I’m on the watch, they ask if I am blue.
They say I need a "heave-and-ho" or a dose of "doctor’s oil"
To get the steam a-rising and the copper pot to boil.
But until the wind blows fair again, I’m stuck within the mud
With a mainmast made of jelly and a turnip for my blood.
(Chorus)
Oh, the yardarm’s drooping leeward and the sheets are flying slack
There’s a knot within the rigging and a kink within the back!
I’m a hulk upon the sandbar with a fouled and rusted chain
A-trying to find my sea-legs, but I’m whistling for rain

Gravelly lead, beer-clinking percussion, boisterous male choir, raw vocal texture, seafaring humor