Old Captain Bilge has a face like a boot and a breath like a dying whale He hasn't seen his toes since the day he first set sail. He’s got a wooden leg for a walking stick and a hook where his hand should be And he smells like a bucket of rotten bait that’s been floating out at sea. He went to see a lady in the port of Tortuga Bay But his glass eye fell in her chowder bowl and she kicked him right away. (Chorus) So it’s haul away your trousers, boys, and scrub the filthy deck There’s a maggot in the biscuit and a boil upon your neck. The rum is half-past bilge-water, the cook is half-past mad It’s the worst damn ship in the navy, boys, that a sailor ever had. (Verse 2) The boatswain’s got a belly like a sack of wet cement And every penny that he earns is immediately spent. He tried to kiss the figurehead on a Friday night in June But he chipped his only tooth away and he hollered at the moon. The first mate’s got the scurvy and the surgeon’s got the shakes And the soup is made of jellyfish and skinny water-snakes. (Chorus) So it’s haul away your trousers, boys, and scrub the filthy deck There’s a maggot in the biscuit and a boil upon your neck. The rum is half-past bilge-water, the cook is half-past mad It’s the worst damn ship in the navy, boys, that a sailor ever had. (Verse 3) The cabin boy is lazy and the gunner’s gone half-blind He fired a shot at a seagull’s tail and hit the ship behind. The sails are full of patches and the hull is full of weeds And the rats are all so bloated that they’re bigger than the steeds. If we ever reach the harbor, boys, I’ll tell you what I’ll do I’ll burn the ship and drown the cat and I’ll bite the Captain too. (Chorus) So it’s haul away your trousers, boys, and scrub the filthy deck There’s a maggot in the biscuit and a boil upon your neck. The rum is half-past bilge-water, the cook is half-past mad It’s the worst damn ship in the navy, boys, that a sailor ever had. (Outro) Yeah, the beer is flat. And the Captain’s fat. And the ship’s a heap of junk. Pass the bottle. Let’s get drunk.

The Barnacles Revenge