Long Hull Larry

Verse 1
There sailed a lad from Liverpool with a burden in his pants,
The rumors grew in every port from Liverpool to France!
The bosun swore it was a spar, the cook a leg of ham,
It stretched from here to Zanzibar and back to Rotterdam!
Chorus
It’s Woah-ho diddy-li-oh, and sit upon ma knee,
He’s the horniest bastard that ever sailed the sea,
It’s the motion in the ocean, or so the sailors say,
It’s friggin' in the riggin', if you’ve got the pay,
You could be gifted as a goose, and run ya belt too loose,
It don’t matter what ya got, it don’t matter if it’s short,
You’ll never treat a lady, if you can’t bring her home to port!
Verse 2
When we arrived at Tortuga, the ladies formed a line,
To see the man whose heavy gear was famous for its size.
They brought him silk and jasmine tea and looked with hungry eyes,
To see if all the stories told were truth or sailors' lies!
Verse 3
But Larry’d been at the "Anchor Inn" since half-past half-past four,
He’d drunk a gallon of the rum and asked the maid for more.
His eyes were spinning like a top, his head was like a lead,
And when the ladies came to call, he tumbled into bed!
Chorus
It’s Woah-ho diddy-li-oh, and sit upon ma knee,
He’s the horniest bastard that ever sailed the sea,
It’s the motion in the ocean, or so the sailors say,
It’s friggin' in the riggin', if you’ve got the pay,
You could be gifted as a goose, and run ya belt too loose,
It don’t matter what ya got, it don’t matter if it’s short,
You’ll never treat a lady, if you can’t bring her home to port!
Verse 4
They pulled away the blankets just to see the great machine,
The largest bit of tackle that the world had ever seen!
But though it was a mighty mast, it had no wind for sail,
It lay there like a sleepy seal or a stranded, soggy whale!
Verse 5
The ladies laughed and walked away and left him in his shame,
The rum had stole his glory and the booze had killed his fame.
For though you’ve got a bowsprit that can pierce the morning fog,
It’s useless as a broken oar when you’re swimming in the grog!
Final Chorus
It’s Woah-ho diddy-li-oh, and sit upon ma knee,
He’s the horniest bastard that ever sailed the sea,
It’s the motion in the ocean, or so the sailors say,
It’s friggin' in the riggin', if you’ve got the pay,
You could be gifted as a goose, and run ya belt too loose,
It don’t matter what ya got, it don’t matter if it’s short,
You’ll never treat a lady, if you can’t bring her home to port!

Crude a cappella sea shanty, Irish Folk, bagpipes, humorous folk, Fiddle, raw voices