Reject It

People say Heaven

Like it's suppose to comfort me

They say God needed

Him home, like I didn't need him

Here, they say It's all

Part of God's plan, like my plans

Weren't good enough

Thirty four years old and I lost my father

I hide my pain with

A smile, drown my shame in tears

While deep down inside

My soul is aching while my mind is Breaking

When you say Heaven, I get a clear image

Of a beautiful paradise

Where my dad can walk again, where

My dad is pain free

Because if heaven exist, noone deserves

It more then my dad

But then I get angry, my fist ball up

My vision blurs

Something deep inside me stirs

and I hate it

I get angry because

Your there and I'm here and it's been a

Whole year and I still

Can't see clear, maybe another year and

I won't drown in

These tears, I get angry, because I had

Plans, because

I needed you, I try to cope but I'm

Just losing hope

I want to march Up to heaven and

Burn it down for taking my father

One less chair at Thanksgiving

And I'm suppose to smile and accept it

But all my mind can do

Is reject it