EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
JACK SPARROW!
VERSUS!
CAPTAIN HOOK!
BEGIN!
[Jack Sparrow]
Hello Hook it's Captain Jack from the Caribbean
Here to broadside you with a grapeshot into lyrical Oblivion
From Tortuga to Nassau I've felt the ocean breeze
Your ship's forever stuck on Neverland's seas
I'm the greatest fencer since Errol Flynn
You lost to Pan as a kid and as Robin Williams
While the Croc took your hand for a little bit of snackin'
I fed my whole body to Davy Jones Kraken
And now after reading James Barrie's book
It's clear to me you're an embarrassment, Captain Hook
[Captain Hook]
Oh, Sparrow, a sorry excuse for a pirate so famed,
Your compass spins useless, direction untamed.
I face Pan’s blade, a fierce eternal foe,
You faced Blackbeard and he shrunk your boat.
Fencing and combat jests aside,
I still held my own with a boy who could fly
I've Captained my ship for years with pride
You've lost your black pearl countless times
Captain James Hook has this in the bag
Take the second star and flee, you drunk scallywag
[Jack Sparrow]
A nice beat, Hook, but your barbs Never Land
I'll cut you up worse than when Pan took your hand.
I've held to the Pirate Code since I was born
While you massacred natives that's really bad form!
With Pan and his boys you seem weirdly obsessed
So much I think I should call the CPS
I may be drunk but tomorrow I'll be fine
And you'll still be the worst Captain of all time.
[Hook]
Oh, Sparrow, your drunken tongue wags without care,
But your "Code" is a joke—more guidelines, you swear!
You boast of your battles, yet quiver and quake,
When just the thought of Barbossa makes your mortal bones ache.
You call me obsessed? Pan's a thorn in my side,
But you chase a Pearl like it’s your long-lost bride.
Your rum won’t save you from my cold steel blade,
So return to your Kraken—your debts are unpaid!
And worst Captain? Oh, that title is clear,
You’re bested by a monkey—now, disappear!
[Sparrow]
Not yet Hook, we haven't finished our Parlay
The rum's not gone i can battle all day
Every wench and lass wants a piece of me
While it's a sausage party on your high seas
I've fought undead pirates and British convoys
Your crew lost to prepubescent boys
Keep your Jolly Roger I've got my black pearl
The fleetest, most gorgeous, best ship in the world
A barrage of lyrics smashing you and your crew
So strike your colors and hand over your loot!
[Hook]
Oh, Sparrow, your Pearl’s not all that it seems,
A cursed little trinket that haunts your dreams.
You boast of convoys and lass-filled tales,
But I see through your charm—your wit always fails.
My crew stays loyal, they hold their ground,
While you’re betrayed by mates wherever they’re found.
Your compass spins wild, your legacy thin,
No Bloom to save you from this battle I win.
Strike my colors? Never you disgrace
Hook reigns supreme now walk the Plank!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!
