EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
SYLVESTER STALLONE!
VERSUS!
JACKIE CHAN!
BEGIN!
[Stallone]
Yo Jackie it's me the king of action
From Rambo to Rocky I'm the main attraction
I'm drawing First Blood So here's the deal
You're famous for mistakes in your blooper reels
I beat everyone from Drago to Mr. T
You got beat your ass beat on screen by Bruce Lee!
Every movie Sly touches turns to gold
Third rate stars like you are Expenable
This battle is no Ciffhanger I guarantee
So for the win I'd like to thank the Academy...
[Jackie]
Hold up, Stallone, don’t get carried away,
You fight with brute force; I turn battles to ballet.
I’ve leapt from skyscrapers, dodged bullets with grace,
While you mumble through scripts with your punch-drunk face.
You talk about Oscars and all your gold hits,
But I stunt for real—no doubles, no tricks.
Bruce Lee? I paid respects, took hits to survive,
You took steroids just to keep your franchise alive.
I’m laughing, Sly, your rhymes are out of date,
Call me the Drunken Master, pouring one out on your fate!
[Stallone]
Your bars ain't too bad, but I'll beat you in a fight
You got outsmarted by your co-star from Shanghai Knights
No one notices or cares when Chan is on the attack
You were overshadowed by a Panda, played by Jack Black
I may have mumbled through some moments in my Creed revival
But you can barely speak English, have to turn on subtitles
I could snipe you from range with my bow and arrows
Or use my M-60 you can have both barrels
Or we could go to fisticuffs if that what you wanna do
Balboa gonna knock you out before round two!
[Jackie Chan]
Oh, you wanna talk fists? That’s my playground, Sly,
I’ll flip, kick, and strike before you blink an eye.
You’ve got bows and guns—what a predictable tool,
But I make chairs and ladders look impossibly cool.
Subtitles? Sure, I speak in many tongues,
While your legacy’s trapped in the same old lungs.
You boast about Balboa, but let’s keep it clear,
My fights don’t need rounds—I end them right here.
Kung Fu Panda? That’s a hit, don’t be a hater,
While your Expendables cast is aging like old Terminators.
You’re Rambo, you’re Rocky, a one-trick machine,
While Jackie’s the GOAT of the action scene!
[Stallone]
I'll tank your drunken fist, I'm from the school of hard knocks
I'll fight you anywhere we can Rumble in the Bronx
But knocking out Sly would far take too long
I never give up so bring Sun Wukong
I'm the Italian Stallion you played a monkey, Jackie Chan!
I owned you in this battle it's a Demolition, Man!
[Chan]
Oh, you’re flexing with Stallion? That’s cute, no doubt,
But I’ll dismantle your rhymes in a Rush Hour route.
You’re the “school of hard knocks”? I’ve been there too,
Breaking bones on set just to entertain you.
I may have played a monkey, but here’s the twist:
Even Master Shifu knows my punches don’t miss.
Italian Stallion? More like Stallion past prime
You lost to Apollo Creed but I KO every time!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!
