“TOO LATE” — The Joyce Boardwalk Anthem
[Intro – Spoken / Building]
Sun is shining…
Boardwalk packed…
Joyce is vibing…
Then her stomach said—
Ohhhh no.
[Verse 1]
Red hair blowing in the ocean breeze,
Walking down the boardwalk, living easy,
Then a little rumble turned into a roar,
Joyce stopped dead—
Eyes on the bathroom door.
She said, “MOVE!”
Started picking up pace,
That look of pure panic written all over her face.
Clench left, clench right,
Everything was tight,
Bathroom in the distance—
She was ready to fight!
[Build]
Faster…
Faster…
Don’t you dare let go…
Faster…
Faster…
SHE’S GONNA BLOW!
[DROP]
💥 TOO LATE! 💥
JOYCE POOPED HER PANTS!
TOO LATE!
DO THE BOARDWALK DANCE!
CLENCH! CLENCH!
RUN! RUN! RUN!
Her stomach said,
“SORRY GIRL, WE’RE DONE!”
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM—
There goes her pride!
Bathroom was close…
BUT THE POOP WON THE RIDE!
[Verse 2]
She was an EMT, she could handle the stress,
Blood, guts, trauma—never broke a sweat.
But no ambulance training could prepare our girl
For the brown-alert emergency heard ’round the world.
She ran past pizza,
Ran past fries,
Determination burning in those green-eyed eyes.
People saw a ginger moving faster than light—
Nobody knew she was fighting
FOR HER LIFE!
[Build 2]
Ten feet…
Nine feet…
Bathroom straight ahead!
Eight feet…
Seven feet…
CODE BROWN! CODE RED!
Six… FIVE… FOUR…
She couldn’t take no more—
[DROP]
💥 TOO LATE! 💥
JOYCE POOPED HER PANTS!
Everybody hit that
SHIT-YOUR-PANTS DANCE!
Hands in the air!
Cheeks clenched tight!
Run for the bathroom
WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!
TOO LATE! TOO LATE!
She gave it her best…
But sometimes your bowels
DON’T CARE ’BOUT THE REST!
[Breakdown]
She knits…
She cooks…
She makes homemade bread…
But that day on the boardwalk,
Her underwear was dead.
[FINAL DROP]
🔥 JOYCE! JOYCE! JOYCE! 🔥
QUEEN OF THE SHORE!
She almost made the bathroom—
JUST TEN FEET MORE!
Bass goes BOOM!
Stomach goes BLAST!
When Joyce starts running…
YOU BETTER MOVE FAST!
TOO LATE!
CODE BROWN!
BOARDWALK!
JOYCE DOWN!
[Outro – Spoken]
She saved lives on an ambulance…
But that day…
Nobody could save those pants.
Drop the bass. 💩