Overboard

Row row row your boat

Gently down the stream

Push your teacher overboard

Then you’ll hear her scream.

Roll roll roll a joint

Twist it at the ends

Light it up and take a puff

And pass it to your friends

I love drugs, drugs love me.

Cocaine, crack and ecstacy.

With a sniff sniff here, and a sniff sniff there

Now I’m in intensive care

I love you, you love me.

Homosexuality.

Everybody thinks we’re just good friends,

They don’t know were lesbians.

Here comes the bride – sixty inches wide

Look at her how she wobbles up the centre aisle.

Here comes the groom – biting his nails in gloom,

He’s looking as thin as a rolling pin and never again will he smile.

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead…

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad

She got a fur coat, jewels, a Waterfront condo and a sports car.

This one’s my all time favourite. Nelson sings it to Lisa in ‘The Simpsons’

Joy to the world

The teacher’s dead

We barbecued her head.

What happened to her body

We flushed it down the potty

And round and round it goes

And round and round it goes

And roooooouuund and roound and round it goes!!

Jack and Jill went up the hill

And planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass.

Now two of his teeth are missing.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To smoke a lil leaf,

Jack got high opened his fly

And Jill said “Where’s the beef?!”

Jack and Jill went up the hill

For just an itty bitty.

Jill’s now two months overdue

And Jack has left the cityIt had a touch of colic

She gave it brandy everyday

And now it’s alcoholic!

Tracy

Mary had a little lamb,

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two chunks of brea

I will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you.If I throw a stick, will you leaveUnless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.