Tom Brady Of The Cow

“Tom Brady of the Cow”

By: Joe ft. Everybody Except Kurt

(Genre: Trap-country hype anthem — think if Morgan Wallen & Future loaded a truck together)

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Look, I ain’t cocky…

I’m just consistent.

Pads tight, straps clean, route done.

Call me the Tom Brady of the Cow.

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He the Tom Brady of the Cow!

Movin’ so smooth, make the clipboard bow!

He load, he wrap, he close that gate—

And still finish early with the crew on break!

He the G.O.A.T. of the straps and route,

Even Conner said “Damn” without a doubt!

Kurt still hatin’ while we cheerin’ loud—

’Cause Joe the Tom Brady of Square Cow!

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I seen him wrap a mirror mid-thunderstorm,

Dolly on tilt, but the technique warm.

Four flights down, didn’t miss one step,

Client tipped cash and gave him respect.

He toss straps like they boomerangs,

Got finesse like he grew mover fangs.

Even Fernando said “that boy too smooth,”

And that man hate praise like he allergic to truth.

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Mi see Joe flip couch like pancake fast,

Box stack clean like first-class pass.

He don’t talk much—just move with pride,

But every damn time, he on the guide.

Mi say to Kurt, “Joe run dis team,”

Kurt say “Nah”—mi say “You just dream.”

Truth nuh hide, it stand tall now—

That boy Joe? He da Brady of Cow!

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Kurt said, “You ain’t all that,”

Then tripped on a ramp and broke a mat.

He talk big, but he don’t lift,

And I got more wraps than a Christmas shift.

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He the Tom Brady of the Cow!

Pullin’ 3 jobs and never burn out!

He the first in, last one clean—

Put the “star” in the Square Cow team!

Even dispatch text him “you the man,”

While Kurt still googlin’ “how to lift a fan.”

He don’t need rings, just dolly grip clout—

He the Tom Brady of Square Cow, no doubt!

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They say legends get remembered…

But movers like me?

We get double tips and back pain trophies.

Kurt said, “You ain’t all that,”

Then tripped on a ramp and broke a mat.

He talk big, but he don’t lift,

And I got more wraps than a Christmas shift.