Almost Us

Five years of knowing every side of me,

Every broken piece, every memory.

You were the hand that pulled me from the dark,

The only one who ever knew my heart.

We said we'd never cross that line,

So I loved you quietly, you loved me in disguise.

We tried with others, tried to let it go,

But somehow you were always coming home.

Then four nights ago, you looked into my eyes,

And we talked about a future we had left behind.

Your birthday, end of the month,

You said we'd talk about what we both want.

And for the first time, I let myself believe,

Maybe you and me were finally meant to be.

I waited for your message like a fool,

Watching my phone, breaking every rule.

Hours turned to silence,

And silence turned to fear.

How did something that felt so real

Disappear in just four days?

Now I'm watching you fade away,

While somebody else gets your nights.

You stay with him until five in the morning,

While I'm here losing my mind.

I thought I was finally ready,

I thought you were waiting too.

But maybe I was holding onto

A version of me and you.

You were my home when I had nowhere to go,

The one person I could never let go.

And now I'm standing here, wondering why

Five years meant nothing overnight.

You were almost mine,

We were almost us,

And somehow almost

Still hurts this much.

I was excited just to see your face,

Counting down the days, counting every space.

I finally found the courage to say,

"Maybe I want you in a different way."

I wasn't asking for forever that night,

Just a chance to see if we could get it right.

But now your answers take forever to arrive,

While someone else gets all your time.

And I don't hate him, that's the hardest part,

I just hate that he gets what I wanted from the start.

I hate that I'm jealous of a stranger's name,

When five years with you should mean more than a game.

You told me we had something nobody could replace,

Now I'm scared I'm being replaced in your place.

Maybe I'm stupid for believing your words,

Maybe love is just something that hurts.

I'm trying not to blame you,

Trying not to beg you to stay.

But every hour you don't answer

Feels like you're choosing him again.

And I'm fighting with the feeling

That I'm suddenly not enough,

When all I ever wanted

Was to finally call this love.

Now I'm watching you fade away,

While somebody else gets your nights.

You stay with him until five in the morning,

While I'm here losing my mind.

I thought I was finally ready,

I thought you were waiting too.

But maybe I was holding onto

A version of me and you.

You were my home when I had nowhere to go,

The one person I could never let go.

And now I'm standing here, wondering why

Five years meant nothing overnight.

You were almost mine,

We were almost us,

And somehow almost

Still hurts this much.

If you don't want me, just tell me the truth,

Don't make me disappear while I'm waiting for you.

Don't leave me hanging on words you once said to me