[Verse 1]
Mixer on the mezzanine, warm bodies, name tags, cheap wine
I'm not working tonight โ I'm just keeping my eye in
And there she is by the bar, phone up, thumb going
Scrolling a man's whole life with her lips moving
Cross the room, run the line, retreat, re-read
Back to the well, back to the feed
Oh, honey. You're doing it out loud.
[Pre-Chorus]
Nobody taught her โ you can tell, no polish, no plan
Which is almost impressive
She found the door on her own
She just can't work the handle yet
[Chorus]
She thinks she's a shark
She's a kid with a net in a stocked pond
Checking the instructions mid-cast
Wine-brave, half a script, no touch at all โ
And I can't decide which is sadder tonight
That she's this loud
Or that it's landing anyway
It's landing anyway
Look at him glow
[Verse 2]
She forgets the drink she memorized โ has to check
Leads with the compliment before the hello, plays the whole hand
Then โ I nearly laughed โ she leans to the man beside him:
"So what's the project he's proudest of?" Right there. Out loud. And
Bless him, he tells her. For free. For nothing.
A stranger hands her the key to a stranger
And off she goes, reloaded
Amateur hour. Standing ovation.
[Chorus]
She thinks she's a shark
She's chum with ambition
Three glasses deep where I'd still be on soda water
Telegraphing every move like a kid at chess โ
And it's working. That's the joke. It's working.
Because he put the whole safe combination
In the window, with lighting
You don't need teeth in a barrel of volunteers
You barely need a bucket
[Bridge]
My contempt's not for her โ not really
She's just early. Sloppy is a stage. I was never sloppy, but fine โ it's a stage
No โ save it for him
Grinning at his own biography like it's a coincidence
Amazed that she knows the shape of him
When he's the one who published the blueprints
Post by post, proud as a boy
There's no con here, sweetheart
There's a man robbing himself
And a girl holding the bag he packed
[Outro]
She'll get better. They always get better.
Him? He'll be amazed again next week
Same words, different girl, same glow
The amateurs graduate
The targets never do
That's the whole industry
That's the pond
Swim, little shark. Swim.