[Voice 1 Joe]
[Voice 2 Dillon]
[Voice 3 Paul]
“Five Hundred Pounds of Hell”
By: Joe, Dillon & Paul
[Verse 1 Joe]
Kurt called it in on a Tuesday night,
Said, “It’s just a quick job, y’all be all right.”
Didn’t mention steel, didn’t mention weight,
Just an “easy unload at a nice estate.”
But when we rolled up, sky turnin’ black,
There it was — that beast out back.
Five hundred pounds of concrete and steel,
On a slanted porch with no damn wheels.
⸻
[Chorus – All (yellin’ into the storm)]
It was five hundred pounds of hell!
And we had no grip, no rope, no help!
Rain comin’ down, boots soakin’ wet,
Kurt on the phone sayin’, “Y’all done yet?”
No dolly, no ramp, just hope and rage—
Movin’ death with a towel and faith!
Three men holdin’ on by a prayer and breath…
Five hundred pounds from a slip to death!
⸻
[Verse 2 Dillon]
My gloves gave out on the second stair,
Safe tilted back—man, I swore a prayer.
Paul yelled “GRAB IT!” and I dug in deep,
Rain hit my face like the Lord don’t sleep.
We slid a foot, it creaked like fate,
Felt the whole porch tremble under the weight.
One wrong move and we’d be gone,
Another Square Cow crew etched in stone.
⸻
[Bridge Paul]
We ain’t trained for this, we ain’t paid for this,
Ain’t no bonus worth a broke pelvis.
We soaked to the bone, backs half-snapped,
But corporate just said “track the app.”
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[Chorus – All (with thunder and fury)]
It was five hundred pounds of hell!
And we fought like dogs with a death to sell!
Rain made the wood slick like ice,
Every step down was a roll of the dice.
No harness, no crew, no common sense—
Just grit and a curse for incompetence!
If we died right there, they’d shrug and say,
“Well boys, just clock out anyway.”
⸻
[Final Verse – Joe]
We made it down, barely alive,
Dillon’s shakin’, Paul high-fived.
Called dispatch, voice full of pain,
Said “Don’t ever send us like that again.”
Kurt texted back: “Y’all legends, lol.”
I stared at my hands like I’d lost my soul.
So we packed that truck in silence and mud,
Still hear that safe in my dreams with a thud.
⸻
[Final Chorus – All (loud, bitter, proud)]
It was five hundred pounds of hell!
And we beat it back with rust and will!
So when they ask why our backs are shot—
Tell ‘em ‘bout the day we gave all we got.
Kurt might laugh, but we remember the rain…
Movin’ that safe like we moved through pain.
KennyT69
