[Intro]
[Drums start banging like falling pots and pans, followed by a kazoo solo]
One! Two! Five! Potato!
[Verse 1]
I woke up inside a bagel made of solid concrete
The pigeon on my porch was dancing on his tiny feet
I tried to brush my teeth with a lobster named Marie
But she turned into a tractor and she drove into the sea!
The calendar is melting and the carpet’s made of soup
I’m running in a circle like a chicken in a loop!
[Chorus]
Paint the ceiling with a tuba!
Ride a llama to the moon!
If you sneeze inside a pickle
You’ll be waking up at noon!
It’s a gravitational wobble
In a bubblegum balloon!
[Scream] ZUCCHINI!
[Verse 2]
My computer started crying tears of orange marmalade
The traffic light is purple, drinking pink lemonade
A kangaroo is stealing all the wifi from the sky
He put it in his pocket with a ham on rye!
Gravity is backward, I am falling up the stairs
The sofa is discussing global politics with bears!
[Bridge]
[Music slows down to a spooky whisper]
Why is the sidewalk whispering my name?
Why is the ocean made of cellophane?
[Music speeds up to 1000mph]
Wait!
The clouds are made of cotton candy bones!
Calling me on telephone ice cream cones!
"Hello? Is this the badger?"
"NO! THIS IS THE SPATULA!"
[Guitar Solo]
[Imagine a guitar solo, but played with a rubber chicken]
[Chorus]
Paint the ceiling with a tuba!
Ride a llama to the moon!
If you sneeze inside a pickle
You’ll be waking up at noon!
It’s a gravitational wobble
In a bubblegum balloon!
[Scream] MACARONI!
[Outro]
Elbows!
Glitter!
Taxidermy!
Cheese!
[Sound of a balloon deflating]