Trump:
> They think they're so clever, with their steel and their toys,
> Their gadgets and gizmos, their globalist joys!
> They ship all their products, at prices so low,
> But soon they'll discover, just where they must go!
>
(He gestures dramatically, a spotlight flashing on a pile of papers labeled "Tariffs")
> For I, the great Trump, with a stroke of my pen,
> Will teach them a lesson, again and again!
> A tariff, a tax, a magnificent fee,
> To bring all the money, right back here to me!
>
(Chorus, a chorus of shadowy figures echoing his words)
> Tariffs! Tariffs! A beautiful sound!
> Making those foreign folks, spin right around!
> Tariffs! Tariffs! They'll learn to obey,
> The might of America, and what I say!
>
Trump:
> Those factories humming, in lands far away,
> Producing their goods, day after day.
> They thought they were clever, they thought they were slick,
> But now they'll discover, my masterful trick!
>
(He rubs his hands together, a wicked grin spreading across his face)
> The prices will rise, oh, a glorious climb,
> And suddenly, fortunes, will all be mine!
> They'll beg and they'll plead, they'll cry and they'll moan,
> But I'll sit on my throne, all alone, on my throne!
>
(Chorus, louder and more menacing)
> Tariffs! Tariffs! A beautiful sound!
> Making those foreign folks, spin right around!
> Tariffs! Tariffs! They'll learn to obey,
> The might of America, and what I say!
>
(Music crescendos, then ends abruptly with a dramatic cymbal crash)
Trump:
> And then, everyone will say, "That Trump, he was right all along!"
>