It’s funny how they say time will heal. it’s only been days since you left but yet life must go on the only satisfying feeling I have is knowing that you are with my brother. Yeah, life is hard and it seems like it don’t get better. I’ve had issues even before you went away now it seems like everything‘s just fallen down all at once you see people don’t want you to know certain things about them it’s like they walk around as if life is perfect as can be but it’s the complete opposite. When you’re lost when you’re depressed and confused . It feel like it cuts so deep am I just hurting for you or am I just a broken heart that’s praying every single day just to be thankful what I have… the sleepless nights. I’m telling you now anxiety is no joke. Believe that… It’s true. They say everyone every family has drama shit you ain’t lying. I find myself throughout the day zoning out as if I’m daydreaming of you telling myself I should’ve seen you more. I should’ve hugged you and kissed you even more the reality is we knew you were dying, but you didn’t. I don’t know if that’s what’s hurting me so much but I know we did the best we can. I know I tried every single day to see you at night so that I could be the last person you see. I know you heard us that day. You tried so hard to lift your head as weak as you were. You tried so hard to grip our hands as we held your hand. You tried to even blink when I asked you to blink and I heard you as I cried in your ear telling you how much I love you and thanking you for loving me …I heard your mom we all did. I’m trying my best but my best is not good enough at this moment I’m lost. I’m confused and I’m all alone. I smile to hide the pain I work to pass time by but knowing that I must keep going strong, forever, loving and missing you your baby boy. 
