

Prompt / Lyrics
[Claptrap voice sample, cheerful:] "Hello, minion! Ready for another exciting adventure?" [Beat stabs. Record scratch. Vault Hunter voice, flat:] "No." --- [VERSE 1] They told me you was helpful. They lied. They told me you was funny. I tried. To find a single reason not to scrap you for parts But your voice alone makes me wanna restart The whole damn universe, erase you from code You're a stair-shaped reminder of a heavy load Nobody carried. Nobody asked for. You're a door that won't open, a key that won't latch, a— Hold up. Lemme breathe. Lemme focus. You're the reason side missions feel hopeless. Talkin' in my ear while I'm tryna loot Sayin' some dumb crap — shoot me, just shoot. --- [HOOK] Minion, fetch me a beat — then delete it You're the only robot that makes me wanna delete me Minion, fetch me a gun — then drop it Every word you say makes the whole squad wanna stop it You're a glitch, you're a pest, you're a test of my will And the fact you're still runnin' is a bug they should kill Minion, fetch me a life — not yours, obviously You ain't got one, you're just annoyingly. --- [VERSE 2] You got a wheel. You got a voice. You got zero self-awareness. You treat every disaster like it's your first day of daycare. "You're my new best friend!" — nah, I'm your new worst nightmare. One misplaced step and you're tumbleweeds and spare parts out there. Remember when you threw a party? Nobody came. Remember when you "helped"? I aged. I aged. You're the reason I mute my Echo by default You're the reason I punch first and ask who it was after the vault. --- [BRIDGE] [Beat drops to sparse, eerie synth. Vault Hunter voice, low and tired.] "Look. I get it. You were programmed to need approval. Designed to be a companion in a world that hates you. That's not your fault. But it is your fault that you never shut up about it." [Beat slams back in.] --- [VERSE 3] You climbed a ladder once. Want a medal? You opened one door. Want a parade? You led me into a death trap — twice — Then acted surprised when I wasn't impressed by the "help" you gave. You're a walking liability with a voice box A liability with a personality that makes me need a lockbox For my sanity, my patience, my will to live You're the reason I take side quests that ask me to kill. --- [HOOK FINAL] Minion, fetch me a beat — then delete it You're the only robot that makes me wanna delete me Minion, fetch me a gun — then drop it Every word you say makes the whole squad wanna stop it You're a glitch, you're a pest, you're a test of my will And the fact you're still runnin' is a bug they should kill Minion, fetch me a life — not yours, obviously You ain't got one, you're just annoyingly. --- [OUTRO] [Claptrap voice sample, cheerful despite everything:] "Wow, that was really hurtful! But I forgive you! That's what friends do!" [Beat cuts hard. Silence.] [Vault Hunter whisper:] "…I'm gonna sell him." [Claptrap sample:] "I heard that!" [Static. Hard cut.]
Tags
Industrial hip-hop, comedy diss track, Nerdcore, male
2:44
No
3/28/2026