Catch-A-Ride

"Alright sugar, she's patched up. Try not to roll her on the first jump."

"No promises."

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Four wheels, no brakes, one brain cell workin'

Boost meter full, got the whole desert lurkin'

Bandits in a technical think they got a chance

Cute. Watch 'em scatter when the monster start to dance

Spiked grill, nitrous tank, armor made of scrap

Seatbelt's optional — it's a suggestion, not a strap

I don't do stealth, I don't do quiet, I don't do slow

Map says "no road" — that's a challenge, not a fact

I aim for the horizon and I never look back.

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Catch-A-Ride — if you can keep up

Doors are optional, seat's got blood — that's occupational, not bad luck

Catch-A-Ride — buckle up or don't

When the tires leave the ground and the engine starts to scream

You ain't ridin' in a vehicle — you're ridin' in a dream.

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Sold my guns for a turbo, sold my shield for some fuel

'Cause cool don't clear a ravine. Cool don't jump a gap.

Cool's just a word people use when they ain't got the knack.

I been chased by skags, bandits, monsters, law

They all got one thing in common — they all watch me drive away

'Cause nothin' on Pandora keeps up when I decide to play.

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"You ever hit a jump so clean, time just… stops?

For three seconds you ain't a Vault Hunter, you ain't a mercenary,

You're just a thing that's flyin'?

Yeah. That's the stuff."

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Got a girlfriend named "Rustbucket," got a mistress named "Boost"

Got a side piece named "That Jump Nobody's Made But Watch This"

You want a ride? Get in line. Three seats total:

One for me, one for ammo, one for the trophy I stole

Ain't no hero comin'. Ain't no cavalry ride.

Just a lunatic in a death trap offerin' you a Catch-A-Ride.

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Catch-A-Ride — last call, last chance

If you're slow, you're ghost — them's the rules of the dance

Catch-A-Ride — if you hear the horn

That ain't a warning, that's a promise, that's a storm

When the dust settles and the engine goes cold

You can say you rode with the craziest soul this dust ever sold.

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"You owe me six hundred for the axle. Pay up, speed racer."

Cash hits counter. Engine roars. Tires screech. Fade.