Yeah…
(Yeah…)
I keep hearin’ “it gets better” in every damn session
Same room, same clock tickin’, same fake progression
Talkin’ ‘bout my trauma while they scribble observations
Like a broken fuckin’ human is a school presentation
“Tell me how you feel.”
Man, where the fuck I start?
Do I talk about the nights I used to rip apart my heart?
Or the days I gave my soul to people just to watch ‘em walk away?
Everybody loves your light until it starts exposin’ snakes
I gave everything I had
Every ounce, every breath
Now I’m sittin’ in psychiatry tryna outrun death
Meds switch, side effects, withdrawals got me shakin’
Inside screamin’ loud as hell while outside I’m fakin’
And they say
“Just trust the process”
(Trust the process…)
But what if the process the reason I’m fuckin’ lost in?
What if every pill they hand me just numbs another problem?
Now I can’t even tell if I’m alive or at the bottom
Completely numb
Still somehow in pain
That shit don’t even make sense but neither does my brain
I laugh when I’m dyin’
Smile while I break
People see me functionin’ and think that I’m okay
Do they wipe the blood that’s pourin’?
Do they see the scars are showin’?
Do they hear the thoughts at night
That got my whole damn head explodin’?
Do they know what drives me crazy?
Why I’m angry all the time?
Or do they just write prescriptions while I’m slowly losin’ mine?
I’m sick of payin’ money just to hear I gotta heal
Sick of “coping mechanisms” that don’t change how shit feels
Sick of hearin’ “you are strong”
Bitch, I had no choice
You think I wanted all this noise constantly inside my voice?
(Echoes)
Can’t kill the noise…
Can’t kill the noise…
And honestly I hate that I still wake up and keep fightin’
Like some part of me refuses givin’ up despite the dyin’
Maybe it’s the anger
Maybe it’s the spite
Maybe I just wanna prove you motherfuckers wrong tonight
‘Cause every time life buried me
I clawed out with my hands
Every scar became a map of places people wouldn’t stand
And yeah I’m fuckin’ tired
Soul worn thin as thread
But long as I’m still breathin’ I ain’t finished yet
That’s the part nobody sees
The war behind my face
How I carry all this weight and still somehow maintain
No medication, no session, no bandaid fixin’ me
I learned pain don’t disappear
You just teach it how to bleed silently
So if you ask me how I’m doin’?
I’ll say “fine” again
While my mind burns alive underneath my skin
And if tomorrow comes
Then I guess I fuckin’ won
‘Cause after everything…
I’m still standin’.
(Still standin’…)
(Still standin’…)
Yeah.
WAVYYBABYY