What’s the point of this life of mine…
These are questions I be asking god in my mind
What do these dreams of mine really mean
And why does it always happen at night and to me?
Sometimes I go back to when I was 9 outside selling dimes.
Waking up in the morning skipping school making deliveries on my mongoose like it was Paul walkers skyline praying one day to sit high looking at the skyline and if I could ever achieve that in my lifetime
Dads in the streets on the grind, moms at home pills crushed up in a line,
forced on prescriptions me contemplating suicide on my bed crying
Asking if this life really gets better with time
Fast forward at 16 im still outside throwing gang signs, secretly praying that someone throws me a lifeline and shows me to walk on the right side
I couldn’t afford college so I sacrificed and signed the dotted line, went through some of the worst times and lost my mind, part of my heart died when I lost my best friend and found both of my grandparents inside their house unalived
I still carry their memories in my mind and will never forget what my grandmother told me before she died, she’ll be dancing when it comes wedding time watching me with the girl of my dreams
I’ll never forget the struggles of alcohol and suicide to try to subside the pain, outside with a smile but inside I was broken
But now it’s prime time I’m getting ready to graduate with two degrees in a better state of mind thanking God for the opportunity of a lifetime.
Revised:
I wonder...
What's the point of this life of mine?
These are questions I keep asking God in my mind.
What do these dreams of mine really mean?
And why do they always come at night, haunting me?
Sometimes, I go back to when I was nine,
Outside, selling dimes,
Waking up early, skipping school,
Making deliveries on my Mongoose bike,
Pretending it was Paul Walker's Skyline.
Praying one day I'd sit high,
Looking at the skyline,
Wondering if I’d ever achieve that in my lifetime.
Dad was in the streets, on the grind.
Mom at home, pills crushed into a line.
Prescriptions forced on me—
Me, contemplating suicide.
Lying on my bed crying,
Asking if this life really gets better with time.
Fast forward to sixteen, still outside,
Throwing gang signs,
Secretly praying for a lifeline—
Hoping someone would show me
How to walk on the right side.
College wasn’t an option;
I couldn’t afford the climb.
So I sacrificed and signed the dotted line.
Went through the worst, nearly lost my mind.
A part of me died when I lost my best friend—
Then found both grandparents inside,
Gone, unalived.
But their memories stay alive.
I’ll never forget what my grandmother said before she died:
"I’ll be dancing when it’s wedding time,
Watching you with the girl of your dreams."
I’ve fought through struggles—
Alcohol and suicide,
Trying to numb the pain,
A smile on the outside,
But broken inside.
Now it’s my prime time.
I’m getting ready to graduate—
Two degrees, a better state of mind,
Thanking God for t
