[Verse 1]
I’ve been quiet in the doorway,
Watching life pull you away.
You’re somewhere in the distance,
Even when you’re in the same place.
And I hate that I’m the one who
Feels invisible like this…
But you stack your world in layers,
And I fall through the midst.
[Pre-Chorus]
And I’m praying for the strength
Not to break under the weight…
[Chorus]
’Cause I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
Trying not to disappear while loving you forever,
Trying not to need more than you can give.
And I know you don’t mean to leave me in the silence—
But it’s lonely in the spaces you forget exist.
So I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together…
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
⸻
[Verse 2]
Feels like everything surrounds you—
Work and worries, kids and plans.
And I’m cheering from the sidelines
’Cause I know you’re doing all you can.
But sometimes I miss the version
Where I wasn’t just the “when I can.”
Where loving me was easy,
Not another thing to cram.
[Pre-Chorus 2]
And I’m fighting off the feeling
That I’m slowly disappearing…
⸻
[Chorus]
’Cause I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
Trying not to disappear while loving you forever,
Trying not to need more than you can give.
And I know you don’t mean to leave me in the silence—
But it’s lonely in the spaces you forget exist.
So I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together…
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
⸻
[Bridge]
I don’t want to harden just to cope—
I don’t want to love you from a distance.
I don’t want to teach my heart to live
With half of your attention.
I just want the moments back
Where I wasn’t scared of missing
Every chance to be seen
In the life we’re living.
⸻
[Chorus (slightly lifted at the end for emotional release)]
So I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
Trying not to fade away while loving you forever—
Trying not to want more than you can give.
And I know you don’t mean to leave me in the silence…
But I’m learning how to breathe where I still exist.
Yeah, I’m trying to learn how to hold myself together…
When I feel like I’m the last thing on your list.
⸻
[Soft Outro (Madison Beer–style breathy whisper)]
I don’t want to lose us…
I just don’t want to lose me.
AmandaGoralczyk
