Behind the back

Behind the wallpaper, there's a crackling sound, whispers like electricity

Aunts type screenshots, uncles Google their wages

Cousin sends group photos, zooming in on the clock

"Look, they've really got it... well... probably just pure luck"

Sister texts Mom: "Did you see where they live?"

Mom replies: "Yeah... but deep down they're already lost."

And the little nephew posts a story with a sad emoji

while secretly screenshotting our vacation pictures like a pro.

Envy smells like cold coffee and cheap perfume.

Envy tastes like "they don't deserve it" at 3:30 in the morning.

Let them talk, let them spit venom, let them burst with grief.

We sit here in the warmth, laughing loudly – and don't give a damn.

It's burning behind our backs, but it doesn't warm us anymore.

Darkness in their eyes – we only see light from here.

Aunt Gerda counts the square meters of our new piece of land

and shares it in the family chat with three exclamation marks and a "well then..."

Uncle Klaus says over a beer: "They're definitely up to something shady"

while he himself has been evading his taxes for eleven years – Silent

The cousin with the part-time job and the average husband

posts "Family is everything" every other day – but nobody believes it anymore

They don't like our pictures, but they silently save them

and then compare their gray couch to our grill

Envy is a cheap drug, they snort it through their veins

and then wonder why they're always cold inside

Let them talk, let them spit venom, let them burst with sorrow

We sit here in the warmth, laughing loudly – and don't give a damn

It's burning behind our backs, but it doesn't warm us anymore

Darkness in their eyes – we only see light from here

Do you know what the worst thing is?

Not even the envy itself.

But that they think we don't notice it.

That they believe we're blind.

That they seriously think their gray jealousy

is worth anything to us.

We just figured it out:

Happiness isn't a competition with a score.

And whoever counts has already lost.

The neighbor asks Mom at the bakery, all innocent-like:

"Well, the kids are off to university now... expensive, right?"

Mom just smiles gently and says: "Remorse is expensive above all else."

And leaves her standing there with her bread and her blue envy soup.

My cousin calls drunk at 2:43 a.m.

"Hey, you guys really made it, didn't you? How do you do it, man?"

I say: "We argue too. We cry too. We doubt ourselves too."

"But we don't gossip about those who have it better—that's the difference, yo."

He hangs up.

``` Send another 😂 emoji under our picture the next day.

Mask stays.

They collect flaws like stamps

We collect memories like Polaroids

They count our money

We count our nights by the fire