Depression

Lately I’ve been depressed and I don’t even know why

All of my thought are just of different ways I could die

I don’t know to escape these thoughts in my mind

I’ll just hide behind a screen and say that I’m fine

I tell myself I’m not worth it

Shit I’m definitely not perfect

I just take a blunt to the face

As I feel like a disgrace

I’m wallowing in my pain

Man this shit is a shame

Anxiety has me not wanting to leave my house

I get on my rooftop and stare at the clouds

But the voices in my head they’re so goddamn loud

Wondering if I should just jump off neck first

I’m beginning to think this shit is a curse

They say it’ll get better but it always gets worse

Is like my life’s a tornado spinning out of control

Sucking everything into an empty black hole

I can’t even begin to repair my soul

I say that I’m fine but I’m really not

I think that I deserved too be shot

I lay in my bed I have no energy

I wonder would help if I drank some Hennessy

I swear I am my own worst enemy

I don’t talk about my emotions much

I’m using this song as a crutch

But writing this has been kinda helpful

My life’s been really stressful

I don’t have a job, I don’t have a car, I have some weed tho so I’m higher than Mars

Everyday I pick out the imperfections

It’s a routine there ain’t no stressing

Maybe I should go to a therapy session

They could probably teach me a lesson

I need to work on self love

But when push comes too shove

I don’t love myself

I don’t really care about my physical, emotional, or my mental health

I joke through about all of my pain

Nobody knows what’s really going on

At this point there’s nothing too gain

They’ll ask questions after I release this song

They’ll say what’s wrong you can talk to me always

But then none of them really text me at all the next day

In the end I’m truly alone

I’ll roll up my medication and just stay stoned

It helps ease the pain

Some of my thoughts just exit my brain

But most of them stay this is a curse

Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up in a hearse

Who knows when I’ll be saying goodbye

In the end we all fucking die

Constant thoughts of suicide on my mind