[Verse 1]
Up at 3 a.m.
writing on the fridge door
Sharpie on the white paint
“Don’t trust what you think anymore”
Laughing at the ceiling
’til the ceiling starts to move
Walls breathing in and out
like they got something to prove
Phone buzz, ghost text
swear I heard it ring
Check it—nothing there
but my name still stings
’Cause the voices use my voice
same slang, same tone
Tell me I’m the glitch
in my own chromosome
[Chorus]
I’m up, then I’m under
half-light, half thunder
Smiling in a breakdown
crying in a wonder
Brain doing backflips
facts getting twisted
Can’t tell what’s real
or if I just wished it
Say it’s “bipolar two”
like it’s some cute label
But I’m dancing with shadows
that sit at my table
When the world bends, folds
and my thoughts turn cold
I’m holding on tight
to a rapid cycling halo
[Verse 2]
Therapist asking
“Any day feel unreal?”
Yeah, doc, yesterday
my mirror tried to kneel
Saw my face blink twice
when my eyes stayed still
Heard the faucet whisper
from the bathroom sill
Friends say I’m “so productive”
when I don’t sleep
They don’t see the spiral
going low-key deep
Four days wired
cleaned the whole apartment
Fifth day flat
like my soul missed the department
Paranoid at checkout
reading through the barcodes
Sure the clerk can see
every secret that my heart holds
Every laugh in the aisle
sounds sharp, sounds aimed
Like the whole store knows
and they’re calling me by name (hey)
[Chorus]
I’m up, then I’m under
half-light, half thunder
Smiling in a breakdown
crying in a wonder
Brain doing backflips
facts getting twisted
Can’t tell what’s real
or if I just wished it
Say it’s “bipolar two”
like it’s some cute label
But I’m dancing with shadows
that sit at my table
When the world bends, folds
and my thoughts turn cold
I’m holding on tight
to a rapid cycling halo
[Bridge]
Is this fear or a fact?
Is that sound or a thought?
Did I see what I saw
or did my brain get caught?
Question every flicker
every footstep, every word
When the quiet in the room
is the loudest thing I’ve heard (oh)
[Chorus]
I’m up, then I’m under
half-light, half thunder
Smiling in a breakdown
crying in a wonder
Brain doing backflips
facts getting twisted
Can’t tell what’s real
or if I just wished it
Say it’s “bipolar two”
they don’t see the angle
Of the nights that I wrestle
with things I can’t handle
When the world bends, folds
and my thoughts turn cold
I’m holding on tight
to a rapid cycling halo