Gravel In My Throat

[Verse 1]
Wake up with a mouthful of rust
Teeth grind on the same old dust
Every scar on my wrist is a roadmap
Pointing straight back to the same trap
Broke every mirror so I can't see
Still feel that kid in the cracked TV
Yelling at a ghost in my own skin
Swing first, lose friends, still don't win
[Chorus]
I'm stuck in a past that I hate
Punching at the bars of my fate
Try to grow, try to change, still I choke on the rope
Every time I climb up, I just slide down the slope
I'm tired but I can't let go
Of the versions of me that I broke
Trying hard to be good, but I'm carved in the oak
Every promise I make turns to splinters and smoke (yeah)
[Verse 2]
Got mud on my boots from the old road
Every step, same shame, same load
Smile at my folks like I'm all right
Then drink 'til my thoughts start a bar fight
Every prayer feels fake in my throat
Every "I'm fine" just another quote
Tattooed blame in the bend of my arm
Turned my own name into an alarm
[Chorus]
I'm stuck in a past that I hate
Punching at the bars of my fate
Try to grow, try to change, still I choke on the rope
Every time I climb up, I just slide down the slope
I'm tired but I can't let go
Of the versions of me that I broke
Trying hard to be good, but I'm carved in the oak
Every promise I make turns to splinters and smoke (smoke)
[Bridge]
[Breakdown: drums drop, banjo and bass drive a stomping rhythm]
I dig and I dig in the same dirt
Plant better seeds in the same hurt
How many times can I restart
When the rot runs straight through my heart (hey!)
I don't wanna be what I was
But I'm scared I'm stuck in the blood
If I burn that boy in the rearview
Will there be anything left of me too?
[Chorus]
I'm stuck in a past that I hate
Punching at the bars of my fate
Try to grow, try to change, still I choke on the rope
Every time I climb up, I just slide down the slope
I'm tired but I can't let go
Of the versions of me that I broke
If I ever get free, it’ll cost me the ghost
Of the kid that I was
And I miss him the most

rap, Hybrid of screamed male vocals and snarled rap over chugging down-tuned guitars, double-kick blasts, and banjo stabs. Verses ride a half-time groove with syncopated trap hats tucked under the riffs; choruses explode into gang shouts and tremolo-picked chaos. Brief breakdown drops to just upright bass, handclaps, and banjo before the full band slams back in. Vocals push from close-mic whispers to full-throated roars., bluegrass, death metal, metal