Nickels and Nightmares

Yeah…

This one for every cold night I ain’t get to cry about.

Mama, I love you.

⸻

My pops got caged before I ever took a breath,

So I was born into struggle, never learned what “Dad” meant.

Mama raised five alone, that’s war with no army,

Four sisters, one queen — the hood tried to harm me.

She fed us off coupons and prayer, that’s real,

Stackin’ EBT, tryin’ to stretch every meal.

I used to see her eyes fade, never let her knees buckle,

So I learned to move weight just to lighten her struggle.

Had panic in my chest, but the streets don’t care,

If you broke, then you broke — better get it out there.

From the schoolyard to the block, I was duckin’ police,

While anxiety had me grindin’ with my heart on a leash.

⸻

Nickels and nightmares — that’s what I was dealt,

Learned pain early, I ain’t ask for no help.

Mama did her best, but the rent still came,

So I sold a little hope just to mask that shame.

Nickels and nightmares — sleepin’ on the floor,

Woke up to roaches, now I’m dreamin’ of more.

Used to wish for a dad, now I just want peace,

But the trauma still echo every time I breathe.

⸻

By thirteen, I was forced to be a man,

Put money in her hand, couldn’t live off a plan.

Mama had bags under her eyes, still smiled,

Never broke in front of us, though we was livin’ wild.

My sisters leaned on me, I ain’t know what to say,

So I put that pain in motion, made a livin’ off yay.

I ain’t glorify the game, I was tryin’ to survive,

And numb the fact my father never taught me how to drive.

Felt rage when I saw kids with they pops at the park,

I was in a trap house where the windows was dark.

I lost sleep, lost years, tryin’ to break that mold,

But when you raised in the fire, it just makes you cold.

⸻

Nickels and nightmares — that’s what I was dealt,

Learned pain early, I ain’t ask for no help.

Mama did her best, but the rent still came,

So I sold a little hope just to mask that shame.

Nickels and nightmares — sleepin’ on the floor,

Woke up to roaches, now I’m dreamin’ of more.

Used to wish for a dad, now I just want peace,

But the trauma still echo every time I breathe.

⸻

This ain’t for the clout, this for the kids in my shoes,

No father, no guidance, just pain and bad news.

But I ain’t fold, I evolved through the dirt and the stress,

Nickels and nightmares — now I’m chasin’ success.