Never Normal

I was born in the fire, no love, just smoke,

Mama raisin’ four kids, barely had hope.

Three sisters, one room, no man in the crib,

Just pain and the pressure that taught me how to live.

My pops got locked not long after my birth,

And when he came back around, only made it worse.

Mama sent me to visit — said I needed a dad,

But all I got was beatings and memories bad.

He’d disappear for days, never showed me no love,

So the block showed me how to move fast with a shrug.

By eleven, I was outside, watchin’ for raids,

Dodgin’ sirens, servin’ pain just to balance the weight.

The streets gave me lessons that a school never could,

Like how to read faces and survive in the hood.

But it cost me my peace, had me cold as a stone,

Felt alone in a crowd, like my soul wasn’t home.

⸻

I ain’t never felt normal — not once in my life,

Been numb since a kid, full of anger and strife.

They laugh like they free, I just nod and pretend,

While I’m fightin’ my mind with no help to lend.

I ain’t never felt normal — just different and lost,

In the streets too young, now I’m payin’ that cost.

Still try to make her proud with this weight in my chest,

But I don’t know what joy is — I just give it my best.

⸻

I watched mama break down, tears under the moon,

Tryna stretch food stamps just to cover our food.

We was homeless at times, sleepin’ out the car,

While my sisters stayed with fam, I was stuck in the scars.

Tried to be her support, young but full of rage,

Writin’ raps in my head, tryin’ to climb out the cage.

But that anger from my pops had me actin’ out cold,

Feelin’ empty at the core like my youth got stole.

They say “talk to someone,” but I never knew how,

So I masked all the pain with a head full of loud.

Therapy ain’t touch what the streets already did,

It raised me too early — skipped the part where you’re a kid.

Now I move with a chip, never sure who to trust,

Even wins feel hollow when you came up from dust.

Maybe I’ll never feel peace like the rest of these men,

But I’ll die tryna give mama reasons to grin.

⸻

I ain’t never felt normal — not once in my life,

Been numb since a kid, full of anger and strife.

They laugh like they free, I just nod and pretend,

While I’m fightin’ my mind with no help to lend.

I ain’t never felt normal — just different and lost,

In the streets too young, now I’m payin’ that cost.

Still try to make her proud with this weight in my chest,

But I don’t know what joy is — I just give it my best.

⸻

If I never find peace, then I’ll walk through the pain,

Built from the dark, with trauma in my veins.

But I still stand tall through the scars and the dirt,

Even if I never heal — I know what I’m worth.