If you could see me now

Intro – spoken)

Yo, I know you gone, Pop…

But I had to grow up fast when you left

And Ma? She holdin’ on, but barely.

I’m tryna carry all of it.

…Wish you could see me now.

⸻

(Verse 1)

I was just a boy when they told me you was sleepin’

Didn’t know death was permanent, thought you’d be back by the weekend

But nah… you ain’t never wake

Left Ma with the rent due and a half-empty plate

I seen her cryin’ in silence — lights off, but pride on

Tryna stretch a dollar like it’s five, like she’d die ’fore she’d cry wrong

And me? I had rage in my chest

Ask God, “If You real, why You takin’ who’s left?”

I hit the streets, not for the fame or the thrill

But ‘cause the fridge was empty and hunger don’t chill

I was posted on corners where hope don’t last

Doin’ things you wouldn’t want, but I had to get cash

Ma needed meds and the rent got raised

So I put my life on the line, every night, every day

Yeah, I lied to her face like, “I’m workin’ late shifts”

But I was duckin’ stray rounds while I bagged up the piff

⸻

(Hook – melodic & spoken)

If you could see me now, would you be proud or ashamed?

I became a man too fast, tryna outrun pain

Still talk to your picture like you hear me prayin’

But God don’t say nothin’, I just sit here waitin’

Tryna give Ma the world, but I’m losin’ myself

In the middle of this war, all I got is my health

But I never folded — I just carried the load

If you could see me now… I hope you know

⸻

(Verse 2)

Mama don’t sleep much, says I look just like you

And every time I mess up, she say, “He’d still fight through”

You was the strength in the house — now it’s just my name

And a pile of past-due bills I feel inside my veins

I done stood in courtrooms with cuffs on my wrists

And thought, “Damn, Pop, this ain’t what it is”

But I ain’t had no map, just pain and decisions

Either let us starve or go hit a few kitchens

Ain’t no OGs left, just youngins with trauma

Tryna flex for a life they gon’ lose by mañana

But I kept my head low and my circle tight

Tryna make enough to tell Ma, “We good — for life”

Yeah, I know she miss you more than she ever say

So I pray to you quiet every Father’s Day

This life turned me cold, but I kept her warm

And that’s somethin’ worth dyin’ for, through the storm

⸻

(Hook – repeat softly)

If you could see me now, would you be proud or ashamed?

I became a man too fast, tryna outrun pain

Still talk to your picture like you hear me prayin’

But God don’t say nothin’, I just sit here waitin’

Tryna give Ma the world, but I’m losin’ myself

In the middle of this war, all I got is my health

But I never folded — I just carried the load

If you could see me now… I hope you know

⸻

(Outro – spoken softly, piano fades)

I’m still standin’, Pop.

Even with all this weight.

Still tryna make you proud…

Still tryna make her smile.

Still tryna make it out.