Intro – spoken)
Yo, I know you gone, Pop…
But I had to grow up fast when you left
And Ma? She holdin’ on, but barely.
I’m tryna carry all of it.
…Wish you could see me now.
⸻
(Verse 1)
I was just a boy when they told me you was sleepin’
Didn’t know death was permanent, thought you’d be back by the weekend
But nah… you ain’t never wake
Left Ma with the rent due and a half-empty plate
I seen her cryin’ in silence — lights off, but pride on
Tryna stretch a dollar like it’s five, like she’d die ’fore she’d cry wrong
And me? I had rage in my chest
Ask God, “If You real, why You takin’ who’s left?”
I hit the streets, not for the fame or the thrill
But ‘cause the fridge was empty and hunger don’t chill
I was posted on corners where hope don’t last
Doin’ things you wouldn’t want, but I had to get cash
Ma needed meds and the rent got raised
So I put my life on the line, every night, every day
Yeah, I lied to her face like, “I’m workin’ late shifts”
But I was duckin’ stray rounds while I bagged up the piff
⸻
(Hook – melodic & spoken)
If you could see me now, would you be proud or ashamed?
I became a man too fast, tryna outrun pain
Still talk to your picture like you hear me prayin’
But God don’t say nothin’, I just sit here waitin’
Tryna give Ma the world, but I’m losin’ myself
In the middle of this war, all I got is my health
But I never folded — I just carried the load
If you could see me now… I hope you know
⸻
(Verse 2)
Mama don’t sleep much, says I look just like you
And every time I mess up, she say, “He’d still fight through”
You was the strength in the house — now it’s just my name
And a pile of past-due bills I feel inside my veins
I done stood in courtrooms with cuffs on my wrists
And thought, “Damn, Pop, this ain’t what it is”
But I ain’t had no map, just pain and decisions
Either let us starve or go hit a few kitchens
Ain’t no OGs left, just youngins with trauma
Tryna flex for a life they gon’ lose by mañana
But I kept my head low and my circle tight
Tryna make enough to tell Ma, “We good — for life”
Yeah, I know she miss you more than she ever say
So I pray to you quiet every Father’s Day
This life turned me cold, but I kept her warm
And that’s somethin’ worth dyin’ for, through the storm
⸻
(Hook – repeat softly)
If you could see me now, would you be proud or ashamed?
I became a man too fast, tryna outrun pain
Still talk to your picture like you hear me prayin’
But God don’t say nothin’, I just sit here waitin’
Tryna give Ma the world, but I’m losin’ myself
In the middle of this war, all I got is my health
But I never folded — I just carried the load
If you could see me now… I hope you know
⸻
(Outro – spoken softly, piano fades)
I’m still standin’, Pop.
Even with all this weight.
Still tryna make you proud…
Still tryna make her smile.
Still tryna make it out.
Beanie
