static // in between

i can’t feel one thing at a time…

everything hits at once.

( “hold still… breathe… breathe…” )

i’m angry at you / i’m sad you’re gone,

( “both true…” )

i miss what hurt / i hate holding on.

( “let go… let go…” )

my heart says “break,” my head says “heal,”

my body’s numb but the tears feel real.

i’m guilty / relieved / terrified / sore,

( “too much… too much…” )

i close one door and feel ten more.

i’m fine, i’m not, i’m crashing slow —

( “keep breathing…” )

i wish i knew which way to go.

i’m holding too many feelings in one small space,

they glitch in my chest like corrupted data.

i’m here but i’m lost, i’m loud but i’m fading —

( “fading… fading…” )

tell me why mixed hurts more than breaking.

i’m stuck in the static,

somewhere in between —

( “in between… in between…” )

not okay, not tragic,

just a half-lit screen.

i’m crying and empty,

( “empty…” )

i’m shaking and still,

i’m lost in the feelings

i’m not supposed to feel.

i’m mixed, i’m messy,

i’m breaking clean —

( “breaking… clean…” )

trapped in the static,

lost in between.

i care too much / i care too little,

( “too little… too much…” )

i’m whole / i’m cracked right down the middle.

i want to sleep / i want to scream,

i want him gone / i want the dream.

i feel alone with people near,

( “alone… even here…” )

i feel the truth but drown in fear.

i hate the past i can’t undo,

i hate that part still misses you.

( “yeah… i know…” )

my mind keeps buffering between wrong and right,

( “loading… loading…” )

my heart keeps flickering like a dying light.

i’m here, i’m gone, i’m soft, i’m steel —

( “both… always both…” )

i don’t know which version’s real.

i’m stuck in the static,

somewhere in between —

( “in between…” )

not okay, not tragic,

just a half-lit screen.

i’m crying and empty,

( “empty… empty…” )

i’m shaking and still,

i’m lost in the feelings

i’m not supposed to feel.

i’m mixed, i’m messy,

i’m breaking clean —

trapped in the static,

( “static… static…” )

lost in between.

// error: too many emotions

// cannot sort

( “don’t force it… don’t choose…” )

( “just breathe…” )

i’m not okay — but i’m here.

( “still here… still here…” )

and sometimes… that’s enough.