[Verse 1]
Sink in the shower
Water's hot but my hands feel cold
Tracing every old bruise
Like a map I already know
Phone face down on the counter
Let it buzz
Let it burn
Let it go
If I answer
I might have to show
[Pre-Chorus]
Every time I get close to something good
I pull the fire alarm in my own head
Stand in the smoke like I can't move
Tell myself it's safer here instead
[Chorus]
I don't dare to be happy
I don't dare to feel loved
'Cause the last time I opened my ribs up
Someone ran when they saw too much
I don't dare to be happy
So I sabotage the rush
Tell myself that I'm better lonely
Than broken by one more touch
[Verse 2]
You say you like my laughter
I rehearse every word till it's flat
Smile like a photograph
Hold my breath so you don't see the cracks
[low vocal register] "You're too much
You're not enough"
That old chorus in my skull
I carve it into every chance
Till the good things start to dull
[Pre-Chorus]
Every time I feel fingers reach for mine
I turn the kindness into some kind of threat
Build a cage out of every what-if
Wear the keys around my neck
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
What if I'm wrong about me?
What if the worst things aren't all true? (aren't all true)
What if the voice that calls me hopeless
Is just scared of losing you? (losing you)
[whispered vocals] "You're unlovable
Unsteady"
I mouth the words
They taste like rust
But your hand is still here
Steady
And it's getting hard to mistrust
[crescendo]
If I step out of the story
Where I'm always left behind
Could I live one little moment
Where the ending isn't mine?
[Chorus]