Sugoii! The Rise of the Sacred Simp

🔥 Intro – epic narrator voice over fantasy choir]

📜

“Long ago… it was foretold in the sacred scrolls of Bounceology…”

That a virgin weeb, pure of horn and dumb of mind,

Would one day jiggle the realms and bust through time.

Seven dimensions. One nut. Infinite damage.

This… is his story.

Born in a basement with Doritos and shame,

Had one body pillow and a questionable name.

Said "Sugoii!" too loud, got struck by fate,

Truck-kun yeeted me straight through heaven’s gate.

Woke up strapped in thighland silk,

Waifu priestess pouring me titty milk.

She whispered, “You’re the one from the legends, hun…”

Then clapped her cheeks and blocked the sun.

Now I got slime girls riding centaurs,

Boobs so big they got side quests and scars.

Nuns keep praying, shout “Holy One’s near!”

Just ‘cause I make panties disappear.

SACRED BOUNCE — THE PROPHECY’S FLEX!

Blessed by the booty and triple D specs.

HOLY ONE — SIMP OF SEVEN REALMS!

Thighs so strong they rip through helms.

Legend says the chosen simp…

Shall one day clap cheeks across dimensions…

And bust in 7 timelines at once. ⏳💦

Booty blasts broke five castle walls,

My drip’s so strong it seduced the halls.

Fought a warlord with a hentai spear,

But my harem just twerked and nuked the tier.

Thigh priestess called me “Chosen Meat,”

Summoned me twice just to use my seat.

Even the Queen said, “Bless this simp,”

As I healed her wounds with one gentle pimp.

Legend says…

The chosen simp shall clap cheeks across the stars…

Bust once in every age… and bring peace through pounding.

I’m not overpowered…

I’m over-penetrated.

And still not done.

SACRED BOUNCE — UNHOLY GRIP!

She rode my face like a battleship.

HOLY ONE — WITH THE SACRED LOAD!

Exploded so hard it reset the code.

Waifu gods bowed, the skies went black,

I nutted so hard it broke the track.

The scrolls are wet, the future’s mine,

This simp’s salvation… was thicc by design.

📜

“Thus the Simp King rose...

And with one mighty bounce...

Delivered us... from dryness.”