What If

I sit outside the office, heart racing in my chest,

Hands shaking like the truth won’t let me rest.

What if they see the cracks I’ve tried to hide?

What if I’m broken in ways I can’t survive?

I tell myself I’m fine, but the mirror disagrees,

I’m scared of the answers more than the disease.

What if they’re right, what if I’m not okay?

What if the words I hear will never go away?

I’d rather drown in silence, pretend I’m strong,

Than face the fear of knowing what’s been wrong.

They say talking heals, but it feels like a trap,

What if I go in and never make it back?

What if my mind is darker than I knew?

What if the nightmares they find all come true?

I’m caught between the pain I know and fear I don’t,

I want to walk inside, but my courage won’t.

What if they’re right, what if I’m not okay?

What if the words I hear will never go away?

I’d rather drown in silence, pretend I’m strong,

Than face the fear of knowing what’s been wrong.

But maybe the truth could set me free,

Maybe the light’s still meant for me.

Maybe the fear is just the key,

To healing the parts I never let breathe.

What if they’re right, but what if I heal?

What if the pain I hide could finally feel?

I don’t want to drown in silence, alone too long,

Maybe facing the fear could make me strong.