[Intro: Valley Girl voice, totally judgy] Oh my God, Karen, look at his junk, it is so... average, ugh He looks like one of those OnlyFans guys, but, ugh, you know Who even subscribes to those dudes? Ugh, they only get views Because he’s got that total "I peaked in high school" energy, okay? I mean, his thing, it’s just so... there Ugh, I can’t believe it’s just so... meh, it’s like out there I mean, ugh, gross, look, ugh, he’s just so... trying [Verse 1: Sir Mix-a-Lot remix] I like big... assets and I cannot lie You other dudes can’t deny That when a babe walks in with a filthy mind and no shame And a round thing ready for the game, you get sprung Wanna pull up quick 'cause you notice that freak was plugged Deep in the DMs she’s sendin’ I’m hooked and I can’t stop sinnin’ Oh baby, I wanna get wit’cha And take your picture (yeah) My homeboys tried to warn me But that ass had me horny (true) I ain’t talkin’ ’bout playboy ’Cause silicone don’t feel joy I’m talkin’ ’bout real skin, sweat, and bad decisions at 3 a.m. [Chorus] I like big butts and I cannot lie But damn girl, that back shot got me high When you twerk it slow and make it clap Even my ex gotta shout: "Baby got back!" (Shake it! Shake it!) I like ’em thick and juicy When you throw it back, it gets real choosy Even vanilla boys gotta yell: Baby got back! [Verse 2: The adult twist ramps up] Yeah, I’m mix-a-lot, but tonight I’m mix-a-shot Tequila got me thinkin’ ’bout positions I forgot Spray some whipped cream, call it dessert first Girl, your booty so phat it deserve its own verse I seen ’em small, I seen ’em fake, I seen ’em flat But when you arch that spine and make it clap-clap-clap I get sprung like a trampoline in heat Wanna hit it from the back till the neighbors tweet My anaconda don’t want none Unless you got that dump-truck, hon So bounce it, twerk it, make it quake I’ll even pay your rent if you make that earthquake (Word to my accountant) [Bridge: Spoken, dramatic] So ladies (yeah!), ladies (yeah!) If you got buns, hun, put your man on lock Tell him to smack it, grab it, call it non-stop ’Cause real kings worship the booty throne And we ain’t mad if you FaceTime from home [Final Chorus / Outro] I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers still tryna reply But when she walks in with that death-row waist And a freak nasty face, you get erased Turn around, stick it out Even introverts gotta shout Baby got back! (L.A. face with the Pornhub clout) Baby got back! Yeah... shake that healthy thing... baby got back... (And if you clap too hard, you might break the bedframe... again.)