Paper Walls

Wake up

Same ceiling

Same crack in the paint I been reading

Like maybe it’s scripture

Or some kind of clue that I’m missing in the picture

Phone screen blowing up

But I keep it facedown like it’s gonna blow up

I don't text back

They say “you okay?” I say “yeah” then collapse

I been having long talks with the bathroom mirror

Heard every excuse

I’m tired of the speaker

Heart like a drum in a locked-off cage

Mind like a stage for a one-man rage

I got these paper walls

Holding back a tidal wave

Smiling at the world

While underneath I suffocate

I tell you that I'm fine

But my hands

They start to shake

I got these paper walls

And they're one breath from a break

(one breath from a break)

Anxiety park in the front of my brain

Keys in the ignition

Riding my veins

Thoughts race

I ain't even left the driveway

Whole life feeling like a highway sideways

Everybody say “just breathe

You'll be good”

Like I ain’t gasping already

Understood?

If thoughts were a house

I’d be trapped in the attic

Dust on my hope

Floorboards full of panic

I pray then I pace

I promise then I cave

I joke at my pain

Then I drown in the wave

They clap when I speak

I go home and fold

Turn loud crowds into echoes in the cold (yeah)

I got these paper walls

Holding back a tidal wave

Smiling at the world

While underneath I suffocate

I tell you that I'm fine

But my hands

They start to shake

I got these paper walls

And they're one breath from a break

(one breath from a break)

What if I stop pretending?

What if I say I’m breaking?

Would you still stay in the wreckage

Or call it a lost foundation?

I’m scared of the silence talking

Scared of the noise in my head

But I’m more scared of dying daily

While my body says I ain’t dead (ain’t dead)

I got these paper walls

Holding back a tidal wave

Smiling at the world

While underneath I suffocate

I tell you that I'm fine

But my hands

They start to shake

I got these paper walls

But I’m done watching them shake

If they’re gonna fall tonight

Let 'em fall and let me break

Let 'em fall and let me break (yeah)

So maybe I can start again