This is number 16 oilfield country song it’s only an hour and a half boat ride in so can anyone tell me why the hell we’re still out here four fucking hours later floating around cause I’m so ready to get the hell home. This is some damn bullshit even if they pay us I’d rather be at the damn house with my damn wife cause I know I’ll be at home in the bed, getting my back rubbed and possibly other things get your mind out the gutter I was referring to my feet but it did cross my mind but here I lay on this crew boat with the dirty sock smelling seats that don’t lay back, staring out the walls and out the windows you can’t see out they all fogged up and these curtains gotta be from the damn 30’s I would ask Gerald why but I’m pretty sure he’s trying to plan one of his 26 kids birthdays he’s on the phone trying to rent a greyhound with a trailer for all the baby food and diapers cause he can’t go nowhere without all the toys and play pens I don’t know if he was joking, but he was even talking about trying out shock collars that’s a good idea for me to use on him every time he makes that pop off valve goes off I’d be zapping his ass all damn day now I’m here laying thinking about my buddy wrong turn My Brother with two first names. Joe is his first and Bob is his last hell yeah that’s some crazy shit fits his Kevin heart sounding voice ass yes I need to call and check on my little tattooed up buddy. I won’t say it’s a bear anymore bro if you want it be to be a wolf we will call it a wolf just carry your ass back to work with us I haven’t heard from you in a couple days now. danial and Turbo Todd are on the other side of the boat pacing back-and-forth. I done heard Danial say what the fuck about 10 times turbo Todd don’t have a clue what’s going on. He said he don’t have no damn idea what happened but he’s about to find out. Exxon ain’t gonna be happy. They’re gonna get charged half a day for this crew and yes that’s a pretty penny. I’d hate to be the one to get that damn phone call. I tried to tell the Exxon representative Augie I’d settle out right now for two hundred dollars I don’t think he thought that was to fucking funny now turbo todd looking at me with them thick ass damn eyeglasses that could start a damn Forrest fire like this ain’t the time to be joking around now they fucking with my emotions so now I’m ending this oilfield country Robert Burns song but before I go, I’d like to thank my little Philippine Buddy BART for the birthday cake yesterday an being my number one fan AND nobody better not even try to even call man number one fan out his name so I don’t wanna here no shit about Bart Simpson [Violin Solo] It was only supposed to be an hour and a half damn boat ride then tell me why it’s been over four fucking hours now

The messed up crew change