Lost and confused,
I'am sure this wasn't the dream I had dreamt of in
my youth.
The happily ever after that existed in my mind didn't look like
the ever after I'm existing in today.
This isn't at all what I had imagined,
this can not be my dream. It's all wrong, misplaced or a dream of
another's as I know this one is not mine! I would have never dreamed of such an empty and cold place.
I shake myself in an attempt to wake and flee from this hell that
surrounds me. But, I don't wake. Is this me? Is this my dream after all?
Was there no mistake? Why can't I wake?
Everything that is right in front of me seem miles away?
My soul
attempts to pull me from the grips of this hollow hole but my mind is
much stronger and my soul fails.
Everything here feels as cold as ice. Nothing here has warmth not even
the air I breath.
What has happened?
What transpired to leave me in
such a place?
I long to feel and to love again. I want to feel alive again within
myself. But most of all, I want to know that I mattered, that I lived, and
that I loved and that I was loved.
He took my heart with only one slight move of his hand and with
another quick move I was His.
remember the
day but not the act of it's happening. The last thing I
recall was looking deeply into his eyes.
that was moment I couldn’t escape his hold over me. I’ve been been bound to Him since that day.
I looked for the face I once knew It was gone. This wasn’t as I had
remembered only moments before. Who was this person. Physically similar, but not the same.
I chose to ignore all signs of caution and quickly adjusted as if nothing had transpired .
I gaze upon Him and then I look into His eyes. I was still adjusting but trusted that my eyes were not deceiving me.
I couldn’t unsee what was reviled. I dare not tell Him…
This was His game . I had learned well.
Never again! He’ll-soon just how good a student I was. The role reversed.
Did I loose me or had I completely forgot the pain of love.
What is this that I’m feeling…. Do I even feel at all!
Ive become the cold that once filled my lungs. The destruction I’m now capable of.
Time had physically matured me, empowering me more. Confidence is active at the surface, what brewed under the surface of me was anything but.
Should I let Him off my hook? I didn’t even consider. A n er w toy I have found.
I’ll teach Him. He’ll soon know the pain and scars left behind this thing called of Love!
Pathetic of him, generous of me. After all. He’ll gain the perspective moving forward.
Thank me or hate me won’t matter!
As I’m not moved either way.
Time has only grown and I my wake of destruction Is undeniable.
Who am I, who am I..
Why don’t they run! They don’t.
All is fair in this game of love! But is it…
I hid the rules. The opportunity to know love was never there. Not for me.
The victim I was once too.
Game on….
RUN
