I’m trying to right my wrong that I’ll never forget.
All the shitty things I’ve done, hard to ever forgive.
The negatives keeps blocking the path to be positive.
The darkness keeps stalking, putting pressure on my chest.
I wonder if I’ll ever be forgiven but I’m currently learning a lesson.
I’m reflecting during all these sessions, I’m trying to be a better person.
A complete better version but some can’t see my remission.
I try not to blame them, practice not perfection.
Stupid decisions, foolish exhibitions.
I’m to blame cuz I’m the one who’s failing.
Sober living may not be enough to quit the drugs.
I need more than a couple months just to sober up.
I’m so afraid of being abandoned, left in the dust.
The last thing I would do is break all of your trust.
Feel like I’m on a boat without a paddle, on a horse riding with no saddle.
I’m not stable with depression, I am labeled.
All left on the table, drugs that weren’t affordable.
Triggers that I need to avoid, I played with my life like it was a fucking toy.
Pictures that trigger, sometimes I get annoyed but there a reminder so I don’t go back to being lost in a void.
Marked on my calendar is the day that I become sober.
Also marked on my calendar are the days I almost lost her.
So much to think about, I sit and ponder.
Hopefully I can keep her and become a loving father.
I’m trying to right my wrong that I’ll never forget.
All the shitty things I’ve done, hard to ever forgive.
The negatives keeps blocking the path to be positive.
The darkness keeps stalking, putting pressure on my chest.
I lost my way but I’m trying to get it back, maybe one day I’ll fully heal and relax.
Like a needle in a haystack trying to find the right path to sobriety so I can be sober and still laugh.
I’ll get on the right path, don’t you worry.
I will find peace even with insecurities.
It might be unlikely but I’ll show authority to my demons that are in-betted inside of me.
I hope my triggers will not stop me to be a figure of sobriety.
Absolute peace in my mind before I RIP.
DieSad
